Homestar Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
by Homer Starrun
Summary: Read as the movie Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace is parodied! It includes Podracing, lightsabers, blasters, Blue Laser, droids, flying, and comedy! Reviews are appreciated.
1. Chapter 1 The Invasion will Begin

Author's note: This was inspired by Will-Write-For-Pocky's parody of Star Wars: A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back (both were removed from the site, but the first chapter of Empire Strikes Back is back). But while writing ANH, he stated he wasn't going to do the prequel trilogy (Episode 1, 2, 3). So, I will write the episodes for you.

Another author's note: I know what I'm doing with the character assignments. Some are made to fit Episode 2 (Strong Bad as Obi-Wan, Homestar as Anakin). Some are the same as WWFP's Star Wars parodies (Strong Sad as C3-P0, Homsar as R2-D2). Some are for comedy (Strong Mad as Mace Windu). And some will change, probably for Episode 3.

Another author's note: For the love of Pete, PLEASE don't spoil what will happen later on in Episode 1 and what will happen in Episode 2 or 3. Yes, I do know who Darth Sidious is, so don't put who you think he is in your reviews.

**HOMESTAR WARS**

**Episode I**

**The Phantom Menace, Whatever that Means**

Characters:

Qui-Gon Jinn: Coach Z

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Strong Bad

Captain: So and So

Pilot: No I in Team guy

Nute Gunray: Blue Laser

TC-14: Robot (from Homestar Enters the Strongest Man in the World Contest) (TC-14)

Nute Gunray's assistants: Blue Laser Minions

Darth Sidious: ? (Darth Sidious)

Queen Amidala: Queen Marzipala (described later)

Padme: Marzipan

Senator Palpatine: Homeschool

Battle droids: Battle droids

Droideka: Droideka

Captain Panaka: Man with Huge Mouth (Captain Mouth)

Bibble: Mr. Bland

Jar Jar Binks: Reynold

General Tarpals: Gunhaver

Boss Nass: Flashfight

The fishes: Eyeless fish beast, Deep-Sea Fanglerfish, Crap on Strings (underwater version), and Trogdor (underwater version)

Ric Olie: Senor

R2-D2: Homsar

Darth Maul: Stickly-Man (Darth Stick)

Watto: The Cheat

Anakin Skywalker: Homestar

Vendor: Bubs

Sebulba: The Sneak

Shmi Skywalker: Girl from Dancing Bubs game (Unnamed) (She's not really Homestar's mom. Only in this movie, and the next)

C3-P0: Strong Sad

Anakin's friends: Frank Bennedetto, the painting of the Man with the Big Knife, and Fat Dudley

Kitster: 1936 Homestar

Fode/Beed: The Announcer

Jabba the Hutt: Da Huuuuuudge

Jabba's servant: The King of Town

Chancellor Valorum: The Prince of Town (a.k.a. Princey)

Mace Windu: Strong Mad

Yoda: Pom Pom

Bravo 2: Larry from Limozeen

Bravo 3: Cheerleader

Bravo Never made it to Space: Gary from Limozeen

Other characters: Other characters

_A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…._

HOMESTAR WARS

Episode I

THE PHANTOM MENACE, WHATEVER THAT MEANS

"Turmoil has engulfed the Galactic Republic. The taxation of trade routes to outlaying star systems is in dispute. Hoping to resolve the matter with a blockade of deadly battleships, the greedy Trade Federation has stopped all shipping to the small planet of Naboo.

While the congress of the Republic endlessly debates this alarming chain of events, the Supreme Chancellor has secretly dispatched two Jedi Knights, the guardians of peace and justice in the galaxy, to settle the conflict....."

**Chapter 1 – The Invasion is about to Begin**

Outside of Naboo and near the armada of Trade Federation battleships, a ship was flying towards a battleship fairly larger than the other ones, which contained Blue Laser, the viceroy of the Trade Ferderation.

"Corptain?" asked one of the ambassadors.

"Yes sir?" asked the captain.

"Tell them we want to boored at once," ordered the ambassador.

"Okay," replied the captain as she looked at the view screen, revealing Blue Laser, "With all due respect blah, blah, blah, blah, the ambassadors of the Supreme Chancellors want to board at once."

"OKAY! SINCE OUR BLOCKADE IS LEGAL, IT'S OKAY! WE'D BE DELIGHTED TO HAVE THE WHOEVERS!" screeched Blue Laser.

So, the Republican ship landed in the battleship. Battle droids and spider-like droids who were supposed to be ships looked at the new Republican ship that arrived. Then the two hooded ambassadors, one tall, one short, exited the ship and were led to the conference room by TC-14.

"I'm TC-14, and I hope you'll be comfortable in here. My master will be with you shortly," said TC-14 as the robot bowed to the ambassadors and left the room.

Then the ambassadors lowered their hoods, revealing the tall one to be Coach Z and the short one to be Strong Bad.

"I've got a bad feeling in my head somewhere, and it's not a headache," shared Strong Bad.

"I dorn't," replied Coach Z.

"But it's not here. It's, um, somewhere, um, not here," added Strong Bad.

"Don't let your mind wornder, concentrate here."

"But Pom-Pom…" began Strong Bad.

"Master Pom-Pom," corrected Coach Z.

"Right… But Master Pom-Pom said I should be mindful of the future; or something like that."

"But not now. Be morndful of the force, my young Padawan," said Coach Z.

"Ugh, I hate it when you call me that! Besides, how do you think Blue Laser will deal with the Chancellor's commands?" asked Strong Bad.

"I don't know. I hope it's short. I have to watch the cooking show in one hour," said Coach Z.

"What the crap did you say?" asked Strong Bad.

Meanwhile, in the battleship bridge, Blue Laser was talking to one of his minions.

"WHEN AND HOW ARE WE GOING TO CRUSH THE CHEAT COMMANDOS?" asked Blue Laser when TC-14 came.

"The ambassadors are Jedi Knights, sir," said TC-14.

"WHAT???" screeched Blue Laser out of astonishment.

"We've lost sir," said the Blue Laser Minion.

"NO WAY! I'LL TALK TO DARTH SIDIOUS! YOU DISTRACT THE JEDIS!" ordered Blue Laser.

"I'm not going in there sir. Send the TC-13, sir," said the Blue Laser Minion.

"IT'S TC-15!" corrected Blue Laser.

"I'm TC-14," corrected the robot.

"SHUT UP TV-16!" shouted Blue Laser.

While TC-14 served the impatient Jedi Knights with drinks and Swiss Cake Rolls, Blue Laser and his minion talked to a hologram of Darth Sidious, a hooded figure.

"Your scheme failed. The blockade's finished. It's because of the Jedi. Lord," said the Blue Laser Minion.

"Viceroy, I don't want this scum in front of my face again!" said Darth Sidious as Blue Laser kicked his minion away.

"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS, MY LORD?" asked Blue Laser.

"Just accelerate our plans, Viceroy. Begin landing our troops," ordered Darth Sidious.

"IS IT LEGAL?" asked Blue Laser.

"I'll make it legal, hopefully."

"WHAT ABOUT THE JEDI?"

"Kill them, duh," ordered Darth Sidious.

"OKAY!"

In the cockpit of the Republican Cruiser in the docking bay…

"So, do you want to go out with me? I'm totally blasting!" said So and So.

"What's that?" asked No I in Team Guy as he pointed to the gun turret pointed at the cruiser.

Then the gun turret blasted the ship. BOOM'D!

In the conference room, the explosion was heard and the startled Coach Z lit his green lightsaber, making the startled TC-14 spill the drinks he was carrying, making him fry his circuits and shut down. Strong Bad was busy with the Cold Ones and Swiss Cake Rolls.

"Strong Bad, stand up," ordered Coach Z.

"After I finish these Swiss Cake Rolls," said Strong Bad as he continued eating.

Suddenly, gas began pouring through the vents.

"Gors!" exclaimed Coach Z.

"I'm one step ahead of you, maybe not," said Strong Bad as he and Coach Z held their breaths.

In a hallway outside of the conference room, a hologram of Blue Laser was talking to the battle droids.

"I HOPE THEY'RE DEAD! KILL THEIR DEAD BODIES!" ordered Blue Laser.

"Roger, roger!" said a battle droid.

Then the battle droids gathered in front of the conference room, where clouds from the gas were leaving the room. They had their weapons ready.

"Where's TC-14?" asked a battle droid, "He, or it is supposed to come out now."

"Roger, roger!" said the same battle droid who said that before.

"Will you cut that crap out?" asked the first battle droid.

Suddenly, Strong Bad with his blue lightsaber and Coach Z with his green ran out of the room and began slicing the battle droids into pieces. Blue Laser and his minion were watching the scene from the bridge.

"WHAT THE CRAP IS GOING ON?" asked Blue Laser.

"Have you ever fought Jedi Knights before, sir?" asked his minion.

"UH, SEAL OFF THE BRIDGE!" ordered Blue Laser.

"That won't be enough sir," said the minion.

"OH SHUT UP! BEFORE I THROW YOU INTO SPACE!" threatened Blue Laser.

So the door to the bridge closed.

"I WANT DESTROYER DROIDS, OR DROIDEKAS! WHATEVER THEY'RE CALLED!" shouted Blue Laser.

In the hallway outside the bridge, Coach Z cut some droids in half with his lightsaber. Strong Bad raised his hand and used the Force to throw three droids crashing into a wall. Then he raised his hand and used the Force on two battle droids.

"You will kill each other," ordered Strong Bad.

"Roger, roger!" replied the two battle droids as they faced each other and shot at each other, destroying each other.

Then Coach Z went to the door separating him from the bridge and began to cut through it with his lightsaber. Meanwhile, a battle droid came while Strong Bad used his lightsaber to destroy it.

"OH CRAP! CLOSE THE BLAST DOORS!" ordered Blue Laser.

A huge, thick set of doors, followed by two more made a thicker wall between Coach Z and the bridge. So Coach Z stabbed the doors with his lightsaber, starting to make a hole in the doors.

"They're still coming through, sir," said the Blue Laser Minion.

Huge chunks of molten metal began to fall of the doors.

"THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE! MORE IMPOSSIBLE THAN US DESTROYING THE CHEAT COMMANDOS, I MEAN NEVER MIND!" shouted Blue Laser.

"Where are the destroyer droids, or droidekas, or whatever they're called sir?" asked the minion.

Suddenly, three destroyer droids rolled to Strong Bad and Coach Z, got into their shooting positions, and began shooting at them. Strong Bad tried to deflect the droid's shots with his lightsaber, but the droids' deflector shields deflected the shots.

"Oh crap! They have shield generators! Why can't we have those?" asked Strong Bad.

"I dunno! Run away! It's something bad!" said Coach Z as he and Strong Bad ran away to their left.

In the bridge, Blue Laser and his minion were watching the view screen of the hallway.

"We have them on run, sir," reported the minion.

"I KNOW THAT MR. OBVIOUS! DON'T YOU KNOW I HAVE EYES?" shouted Blue Laser.

"Uh sir? They went up the ventilation shaft, sir," said another Blue Laser Minion.

"UGH! WE STILL DON'T HAVE THEM!" screeched Blue Laser.

In the main bay of the battleship, Coach Z and Strong Bad appeared at a large vent in a giant hangar. They spied on the thousands of battle droids being loaded into ships.

"Bortle droids," said Coach Z.

"Duh, it looks like an invisible army," said Strong Bad.

"No it's not. I can see it!" corrected Coach Z, "Well, I guess we should go and warn Neeboo, contact Chancellor Princey, and uh, do some stuff. Let's go in different ships. We'll meet in the plornet," explained Coach Z.

"Well, you're right in one thing. You won't watch that cooking show," said Strong Bad.

"It's a real shame, I was going to learn how to make Or Diories for the Jedis."

"Or Whats?" asked Strong Bad.

"Or Diories," replied Coach Z.

"Glad you aren't making it. You blew up the Jedi Temple kitchen the last time you cooked," muttered Strong Bad.

In the battleship bridge, the second minion received a transmission.

"A transmission from the planet, sir," said the minion.

"It's Queen Marzipala, sir," said the first minion.

"AT LAST! WE GOT RESULTS, SO WE CAN CRUSH THE CHEAT COMMANDOS!" screeched Blue Laser.

"No, just Naboo, sir," said the first minion.

Then the view screen revealed Queen Marzipala, a girl with a red dress, baseball bat shaped head, face painted white with red dots on her cheeks, and her hair was curled up in a weird fashion, sitting on her throne.

"AGAIN YOU HAVE COME BEFORE ME, QUEEN! THE FEDERATION IS PLEASED!" screeched Blue Laser.

"I don't think you will be pleased at this, not pleased at all. But, we, as in me, Mr. Corn, Eggplant, and Grapefruit, have decided that your boycott has ended," replied Queen Marzipala.

"WHAT THE CRAP DID YOU SAY? DOES THAT MEAN WE LOST?" asked Blue Laser.

"Well, the Senate says that they want to vote on this blockade of yours," replied Queen Marzipala.

"I THINK THE SENATE ARE ALL IDIOTS!" shouted Blue Laser.

"Oh be quiet Viceroy, you're delaying my tea party. Anyway, I think the Supreme Chancellor sent some ambassadors to deal with you. I think they are Jedis, but I don't know," said Queen Marzipala.

"WHAT AMBASSADORS? WHAT ARE AMBASSADORS?" asked Blue Laser.

"What? They didn't come? Lazy bureaucrats. By the way Viceroy, the Federation _is _going to far with this," said Queen Marzipala.

"WE WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO YOU? WOULD WE?" Blue Laser asked his minions.

"Yes sir," replied his minions.

"GUESS WHAT? YOU'RE WRONG! BY THE WAY QUEEN, YOU ASSUME TOO MUCH!" screeched Blue Laser.

"We'll see," said Queen Marzipala as the view screen went black.

"Uh sir, do you think…" began a Blue Laser Minion.

"OH FORGET THAT!" shouted Blue Laser.

"Do you think she suspects an attack now, sir?" asked another minion.

"I DON'T CARE! LET'S JUST DISRUPT THE COMMUNICATIONS! I JUST HATE THEM SO MUCH!" screeched Blue Laser as he walked away.

* * *

In the throne room of the Naboo Palace in the planet of Naboo, Queen Marzipala, her handmaidens, Captain Mouth, and Mr. Bland were listening to a hologram of Senator Homeschool. 

"How can that be true? I think the Chancellor says he sent… Ambassadors… arrived," said Homeschool as his hologram began to fade away, "Negotiate… I hate…"

Then his hologram faded.

"Senator Homeschool! Captain Mouth, what's happening?" asked Queen Marzipala.

"Uh, the Foundation JAMMED us," reported Captain Mouth.

"Uh oh, this means invasion. I'm allergic to them," said Mr. Bland as he began sneezing.

"Don't jump to conclusions, Governor. The Foundation won't go that far, would they?" asked Queen Marzipala.

"The Senate would REVOKE their trade whatever, and they'd be FINISHED!" said Captain Mouth.

"Let's rely on negotiation."

"Uh, we lost communications, and we don't know where the ambassadors are, we can't negotiate, we must prepare the defend ourselves, I think I'm getting the hives," explained Mr. Bland.

"Well, I will not do anything that will get us into war," said Queen Marzipala.


	2. Chapter 2 Meet Reynold

**Reply to reviewer (Will-Write-For-Pocky):** Thanks for your review. I thought I asked you if I could write this story in a review for your Episode 5. Not that it matters. Sorry for calling you a "he".

* * *

**Chapter 2 – Meet Reynold**

The droid transportation ships containing the droids, Strong Bad, and Coach Z landed in the Naboo swamp area. Then some droids exited their crafts, as well as the two Jedi. Also, huge droid troop transports exited the ship and began bringing terror, like pushing trees down. Meanwhile, a battle droid talked to a small hologram of Blue Laser and his minion.

"And there is no trace of the Jedi on the ship. They might have gone in your landing craft, sir… droid," reported the Blue Laser Minion.

"Uh, if they're down here, we'll find them. We're going to the cities, and we haven't met resistances. Is that important?" asked the battle droid.

"JUST FIND THE FREAKIN' JEDIS AND TAKE OVER THE CITIES!" shouted Blue Laser as the hologram disappeared.

Meanwhile, Coach Z was running down the swamp, being chased by enemy troop transports. Other animals, like possums, were running away from the troop transports. Also, there was a Cheat named Reynold just pondering what's in the puddles when he noticed the running animals, and the mechanical doom coming his way.

"Oh no! Help me!" cried Reynold as Coach Z ran towards him.

"Get doon!" shouted Coach Z as he pushed Reynold to the ground, preventing them from being crushed by the troop transport which zoomed above them.

Then Coach Z walked away, but Reynold followed him.

"Oh my gosh! You saved my life! How can I thank you?" asked Reynold.

"Get some broins, you nearly got us killed!" ordered Coach Z.

"But I spoke," said Reynold.

"Speaking doesn't mean yoos smart, and you aren't," said Coach Z, "Now let's get out of here!"

"No wait! I have to be your humble servant for some reason, right?" asked Reynold.

"That won't be necessary," said Coach Z.

"But it is! It must be ordered by the gods, right?" asked Reynold.

"_No_!" said voices from above.

Just then, droids flying on speeders were chasing Strong Bad, shooting at him.

"Oh no! We're going to die!" shouted Reynold.

"Stay doon!" ordered Coach Z as he brandished his light saber and used it to reflect the shots the speeders shot to destroy them and save Strong Bad.

"You saved me again!" said Reynold as he got up.

"What the crap is this? A Cheat?" asked Strong Bad.

"Yeah, a weak one in fact, and a stupid one. Let's go," said Coach Z, "Before more come."

"What? More is coming?" asked Reynold as Coach Z and Strong Bad walked away.

"Um, excuse me?" asked Reynold.

"No, you have to say ex-squeeze me, not excuse me," ordered Homer Starrun, who was not the voices from the sky earlier.

"Oh all right. Ex-squeeze me! Don't squeeze me, but a safe place would be the Cheat Commandos Underwater Playset. It's where we would go in Naboo, and where I would plead to the Cheat Commandos to go on missions. It's a safe place!" shared Reynold, making Coach Z and Strong Bad stop walking.

"A hordquarters playset? Can you take us there?" asked Coach Z.

"Oops! I forgot. I was banished from the playset," remembered Reynold as there was a sound somewhere far away.

"Ya hear that?" asked Coach Z.

"No, I don't have good hearing skills, but…" began Reynold.

"That's the sound of a thousand terrible things coming our way," said Coach Z.

"When they find us, they pulverize us, and do some other bad stuff," said Strong Bad.

"Good point. Let's go!" said Reynold as he led Coach Z and Strong Bad to somewhere.

So after some running, which got Reynold exhausted, they arrived in front of a lake.

"So how much forther?" asked Coach Z.

"Well, first, let me warn you that the Cheat Commandos don't like outsiders," warned Reynold.

"Oh don't worry. This hasn't been a warm day for welcomes. So where's the freakin' headquarters?" asked Strong Bad.

"Um, it's underwater. But I just remembered, I can't swim," said Reynold.

"Don't worry. I'll help you," said Strong Bad as he grabbed Reynold and tossed him in the water.

"Help! Help! I'm drowning!" cried out Reynold as he sank into the water.

"Let's go retrieve him. That was fun," admitted Strong Bad as they put on breath masks.

Then they swam to the underground headquarters playset, where Reynold ended up being in. Then a metal door closed behind them as the water was drained out. Then they went on an elevator to go up to where the activities were happening.

"It's so good being home!" said Reynold after being revived.

All the Cheats were surprised to see two Jedi Knights and Reynold. Then Gunhaver, Fightgar, Silent Rip, and Firebert walked up to the newcomers.

"Hello Gunhaver, I'm back!" said Reynold.

"Oh no Reynold. You're going to see Flashfight. As they say in Gungan, yousa in big dudu this time!" said Gunhaver.

Suddenly, Fightgar accidentally (or intentionally, either way, it's what the Commandos wanted) shot his gun near Reynold, making the bullet miss Reynold by inches.

"How rude!" said Reynold.

So the Jedis and Reynold were taken to Flashfight, who was sitting in a chair behind a desk that belongs in the Pentagon.

"We don't like you. Get lost and let us do what we need to do to Reenold," said Flashfight in the French accent.

"But the droid army is about to attack Naboo. We most warn them," said Coach Z.

"We don't like Naboo. Zey hate us. Zey zeenk zey so smart and brainee," complained Flashfight.

"After the droids take control of the surface, then they'll attack you," warned Strong Bad.

"I don't zeenk so. Wee can leeve without Naboo. Wee need no outsiders," said Flashfight.

"You and Naboo are some sort a circle, although I failed college algebra, if something happens to the surface, you'll be affected. You must know this," explained Strong Bad.

"Uh, I don't understand what you just said. Wee don't care about Naboo," replied Flashfight.

Then Coach Z waved his hand and used the Force on Flashfight, "Then we need a transport."

"You need a transport. We'll geeve you zee Commando submarine. Now go through the Naboo core for fastest reesults," ordered Flashfight.

"Okay, let's go. I don't like this place. Their food's terrible. By the way, is the submarine comfortable?" asked Strong Bad.

"I don't mind chafes," said Coach Z.

Then he saw Reynold chained.

"Going through the core, good luck," said Reynold.

"Thanks Rornald," thanked Coach Z.

"Sure you don't need a guide?" asked Reynold as he gave Coach Z a pleading look.

"Coach! We don't have time!" complained Strong Bad.

"But we need a guide in order to go through the coore, and Rornald might help," explained Coach Z.

Feeling sorry for Reynold, Coach Z talked to Flashfight again.

"What about Rornald?" asked Coach Z.

"Hee'll be puneeshed," replied Flashfight, making Reynold groan.

"We need a novigator to go through the coore, and I saved Rornald. He owes me a life debt, or something," explained Coach Z.

"Reenold, why heem?" asked Flashfight.

So Coach Z waved his hand again to use the Force, "Yor gods demands his life belongs to me now."

"Okay, take heem," ordered Flashfight as the Jedis and Reynold (freed) began to leave.

"I don't know where the go, we'll die anyway. But I'll take the core," said Reynold as they left the headquarters playset and to the submarine.

* * *

The Commando submarine, which was shaped like half-Cheat and half-fish, swam through the deep waters of Naboo, swimming away from the Underwater Cheat Commandos Headquarters Playset.

"This is nuts. Oh look! A gooberfish!" exclaimed Reynold as he pointed to a window.

"So Reynold, why the crap were you banished? Because of that, we wasted like, a half a chapter," asked Strong Bad.

"Well, basically, I was banished because I was, sorta, something like, clumsy."

"You were banished because you were clumsy? No wonder you don't go on any mission," said Strong Bad.

"It's not my fault! But in Gungan, I boom da gasser, crash Flashfight's heyblidder, then banished," explained Reynold.

"Okay, I didn't understand that. So basically, you were clumsy and stupid," said Strong Bad.

Then they encountered a huge fish with fangs. It looked like an eyeless fish beast.

"Oh no! An eyeless fish beast! Huge teeth!" cried out Reynold in horror.

Then the fish beast wrapped its tongue around the submarine. Then it began to draw the submarine into its mouth.

"Oh no! I haven't even made my will! Not that I have anything people want, not even my fake tie," said Reynold.

"Shut up! We're already out of the eyeless fish beast!" said Strong Bad.

Reynold looked out at the window and saw a deep-sea fanglyfish eat the eyeless fish beast. Details not included.

"Right this way everybody! Free devoured eyeless fish beasts! Dance clubs. Cheat Commandos submarine," said the Homestar Lure attached to the deep-sea fanglyfish.

"There's orlways a bigger fish," said Coach Z.

In the Trade Federation battleship, Blue Laser and his minion were talking to the hologram of Darth Sidious.

"THE INVASION IS ON SCHEDULE!" screeched Blue Laser.

"Good, and I have the Senate bogged down in procedures, and don't ask what that means. By the time they vote in a million years or so, it'll be too late that they'll accept your control of the system," explained Darth Sidious.

"THE QUEEN HAS GREAT FAITH THE SENATE WILL SIDE WITH HER!"

"She's young and naïve, especially when it comes to botany. Controlling her will isn't so difficult. You've done well, Viceroy," explained Darth Sidious as the hologram faded away.

"You didn't tell him about the missing Jedi, sir," said the Blue Laser Minion.

"SO WHAT? WE WON'T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO REPORT!" explained Blue Laser.

Underwater, the Cheat submarine was still going deeper and deeper to the Naboo core (which might be made of water, since it's underwater).

"So, how do you know where to go?" asked Reynold.

"The force will guide us," explained Coach Z.

"Oh, the mighty Force, just like that dead guy over there," said Reynold as he pointed to a skull on a rock.

"Oh I see," said Strong Bad.

Suddenly, the submarine began to lose power.

"Oh no!" groaned Reynold as Coach Z announced they lost power, "We're dying in here!"

While Strong Bad worked with the wires (or praying to them that they'll work) Coach Z said, "Stay corlm, we're not in trooble yet."

"WHAT? There are monsters out there! We're leaking in here! We're sinking and there's no power! When the crap do you realize we're in trouble?" exploded Reynold.

"Power's back, we're not in trouble," said Strong Bad as the submarine moved again, revealing an underwater version of the Crap on Strings in front of them.

As the submarine swam away from the monster chasing them, Reynold hyperventilated.

"Relax," ordered Coach Z as Reynold stopped into a coma.

"You overdid it," said Strong Bad.

The fish continued chasing until it got eaten by Trogdor (underwater version!) while an electric guitar solo played somewhere. Meanwhile, the submarine escaped.

"Head for the outcroopping," ordered Coach Z.

In the Naboo capital of Theed, the droid army began to take over the city. Queen Marzipala was watching this from the castle. Soon, Blue Laser and his minion arrived on a road in Theed.

"We took over the city, sir," said a battle droid.

"AAA! VICTORY!" screeched Blue Laser.

"Not to loud, sir," said the battle droid.

"SHUT UP, DROID!" shouted Blue Laser.

In a lake of Theed, the submarine finally surfaced after a long, dark, and dangerous journey.

"Oh, how beautiful!" observed Reynold as Strong Bad, Coach Z, and Reynold got out of the submarine.

"We're finally out of that waste ocean," said Strong Bad.

"Now how do we get to shore?" asked Reynold.

"Okay, back in the submarine!" ordered Strong Bad as they went back inside.

"Oh man!" groaned Reynold.

In the Theed palace stairs, the battle droids, Blue Laser and his minion were leading Queen Marzipala, Mr. Bland (who now has a swollen tongue and hives), Captain Mouth, and Marzipala's handmaidens down the stairs.

"How vill you exblain this invason to the Thenate?" asked Mr. Bland with the swollen tongue.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE CRAP YOU JUST SAID, BUT WE'LL FORCE THE SENATE TO SIGN A TREATY!" explained Blue Laser.

"I won't co-operate," replied Queen Marzipala.

"TOO BAD! THEN YOUR PEOPLE WILL DIE! COMMANDER DROID, PROCESS THEM!" Blue Laser said to the leading battle droid.

"Yes, sir! Take them to Camp Four!" the battle droids ordered the other battle droids.

Then the party was led out of the castle by the droids in an empty street. On a walkway above, Coach Z, Strong Bad, and Reynold (not exactly, he just hung on to the ledge immediately) jumped from the walkway and began attacking the droids with their light sabers. Soon, they were all destroyed and Reynold fell down to the street, and lived.

"TAKE their weapons," ordered Captain Mouth as his soldiers took the droids' blasters.

Then Coach Z began talking to Queen Marzipala, "Yor highness, we are the ambassadoors of Chancellor Princey."

"Then your nebobiations must bave bailed," said Mr. Bland (swollen tongue).

"What negotiations?" asked Strong Bad, "By the way, we need to make contact with the rest of the Republic."

"They KNOCKED out all our commissions," said Captain Mouth.

"Do you have any transports?" asked Coach Z.

"Make sure it has lots of space," ordered Strong Bad.

"FOLLOW me," ordered Captain Mouth as he ran down the alleyway, followed by the party, Jedi, and Reynold lagging behind.

In the central hangar hallway, the party saw the battle droids surrounding the pilots.

"There's too MANY!" reported Captain Mouth.

"That won't be a prooblem," said Coach Z as he began speaking to Queen Marzipala, "Yor highness, under the circumstances, come to Coruskant with us."

"Thank you Ambassador, but I'd prefer to be with my own people," replied Marzipala.

"They'll kill you if you stay."

"No, they'll make her SIGN a TREATY!" said Captain Mouth.

"Still, they'll destroy you," said Coach Z.

"We need the Sevate to help us. Sevator Homesku will need your help," said Mr. Bland.

"Getting PAST their blockade is IMPOSSIBLE! All attempts to do so will be DANGEROUS!" said Captain Mouth.

"I'll stay here! I'm alzo allergic to zpace!" said Mr. Bland.

"Either choice presents a great threat to all of us," Queen Marzipala said to her handmaidens.

"We are brave your highness," said Marzipan.

"If you want to leave, yor highness, it's now," said Coach Z.

"Okay! Bye Mr. Allergic," said Queen Marzipala.

"It's Blenv," said Mr. Bland.

In the central hangar itself, the party except for two handmaidens and Mr. Bland walked towards a Nubian.

"We need to FREE those pilots," said Captain Mouth.

"I'll do that. I need some action," said Strong Bad as he headed towards the pilots.

Then the party (minus Strong Bad) went to a guard droid guarding the Nubian.

"Where are you going?" asked the droid.

"I'm the Ambassador of Chancellor Princey, and we're going to Coruskant," explained Coach Z.

"Where?" asked the droid.

"To Coruskant," replied Coach Z.

"Where?" asked the droid.

"To Coruskant," replied Coach Z.

"Where?" asked the droid.

"To Coruskant," replied Coach Z.

"Where?" asked the droid.

"To Coruskant," replied Coach Z.

"Where?" asked the droid.

"To Coruskant," replied Coach Z.

"Where?" asked the droid.

"To Coruskant," replied Coach Z.

"Where?" asked the droid.

"Oh never mind!" snapped Coach Z as he sliced the droid in half with his light saber.

Other droids began to attack, but Coach Z destroyed the droids with his light saber. Strong Bad destroyed the droids guarding the pilots.

"Go you morons!" ordered Strong Bad.

At that, the pilots began to run away. Senor ran to the Nubian where the party and Strong Bad boarded. Then the Nubian flew to space. Then the Nubian began to fly through the Trade Federation blockade. In the droid hold of the Nubian, Strong Bad was talking to Reynold.

"Now stay out of trouble, or else, um, I'll think about that," ordered Strong Bad as he left.

So Reynold decided to look at the Homsar unit (Homsars with different color shirts).

"Hello boys," greeted Reynold.

"DAAAAAAAAAAAAaAaAaAaA!" replied a green shirted Homsar.

In the cockpit of the Nubian, Senor was controlling the Nubian towards the blockade.

"_There it is,_" said Senor in Spanish.

Then some lasers from the battleships struck the Nubian as the alarm began to blare.

"_The shield_…" began Senor in Spanish.

"ENGLISH!" ordered Strong Bad.

"All right. The shield generator's hit! Our deflector shields can't withstand this! Hopefully, our Homsar Unit can fix it!" explained Senor with perfect English.

In the droid hold, all Homsars came to life in response to the siren that blared in the room as they walked towards the elevator to space (they can be alive in space). The blue Homsar we all know and like to see in cartoons bumped into Reynold.

"My, how rude!" exclaimed Reynold as Homsar went on the elevator and into space.

The Homsars on the exterior of the Nubian began walking to where they needed to go. While doing that, two Homsars were sent flying away by lasers shot at them, making them fly away to different galaxies of the universe.

"Oh crap, we're losing Homsars, fast. That's why I hate them," said Strong Bad.

"If they can't get those shield generators FIXED, we'll be sitting DUCKS!" said Captain Mouth.

"The shields are gone," announced Senor.

"YOU ALREADY SAID THAT!" shouted everyone else in the cockpit.

The battleships sent one more Homsar flying away. Meanwhile, the blue Homsar we know and like best began fixing the wires somehow, as fast as possible.

"Power's back! Homsar did it! Deflector shield's up at maximum," announced Senor.

So Homsar went back into the ship while the Nubian was able to fly through the blockade.


	3. Chapter 3 Homestar Finally Makes an App...

I may not update as frequently as I did this week, for I'll be busy starting next week. Still, wait for updates.

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* * *

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Chapter 3 – Homestar Finally Makes an Appearance!

In the Nubian flying away, Senor noticed something important.

"There's not enough power to take us to Coruscant. The hyper drive is leaking," announced Senor.

"We need to stop somewhere to refuel and repor the ship," said Coach Z.

Coach Z and Strong Bad studied the star chart on the monitor. Strong Bad pointed to a planet on the chart, "Here Coach, Tatooine, small, poor, out of the Trade Federation's way."

"HOW can you be so SURE?" asked Captain Mouth.

"It's controlled by the da huuuuuudges," explained Coach Z.

"NEVER!" exclaimed Captain Mouth.

"It's risky and sandy, and I hate it there, but there's no alternative," explained Strong Bad.

"NEVER! Da huuuuuudges are a, something bad, and UGLY, and FAT! If they DISCOVERED her…" began Captain Mouth.

"It'd be the same as landing on a Trade Forderation planet, except da hordges don't know Queen Marzipala, giving us an advantage," explained Coach Z.

In the conference room of the Trade Federation battleship, Blue Laser and his minion were talking to the hologram of Darth Sidious.

"WE CONTROL THE FREAKIN' CITY AND ARE SEARCHING IN OTHER SETTLEMENTS…" began Blue Laser.

"Destroy all high-ranking officials slowly and quietly with some hot sauce included. Has Queen Marzipala signed the treaty yet?" asked Darth Sidious.

"SHE DISAPPEARED! A NUBIAN WENT THROUGH OUR BLOCKADE!" replied Blue Laser.

"Then find her, you dolt of a Viceroy!" shouted Darth Sidious.

"BUT IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND HER IN OUR RANGE!"

"Not for a Sith…" began Darth Sidious as a hologram of a second hooded Sith lord appeared by Darth Sidious. The Sith lord looked like his head was black, because it _was _black, as well as his body.

"Viceroy, this is my apprentice, Lord Stick. He will find your lost ship," said Darth Sidious.

"OKAY, MY LORD!" screeched Blue Laser as the holograms disappeared, "CRAP, THERE ARE TWO OF THEM NOW!"

"We should not have made this bargain, sir," said the minion.

"YES WE SHOULD!" shouted Blue Laser.

In the queen chamber of the Nubian, the Jedis, Captain Mouth, and Homsar were in front of Queen Marzipala and her handmaidens.

"This HOMSAR SAVED our ship and lives!" said Captain Mouth.

"He's to be commended. What's his name?" asked Queen Marzipala.

"DaAaAaAaA! I'm Homsar! The captain of the Gravy Train!" said Homsar.

"Homsar, your HIGHNESS!" reported Captain Mouth.

"Thank you Homsar, you have proven yourself to be very loyal. Marzipan, clean up Homsar the best you can. It deserves our gratitude. Continue," ordered Queen Marzipala.

"AAAA! I'm good!" said Homsar as he and Marzipan walked away from the room.

"Yor highness, we're heeded for Tatooine. It's beeyond the reach of the Trade Federation. We need to go there to rorpair our ship. Then we travel on to Coruskant," explained Coach Z.

"Tatooine is very DANGEROUS, your highness. It's controlled by the DA huuuuuudges. I do not AGREE with the Jedi on this," explained Captain Mouth.

"You trorst my judgment, your highness," said Coach Z.

"We can't even TRUST your accent," snapped Captain Mouth.

In the main area of the Nubian, Marzipan was pouring soap water on Homsar to get the grease of some other dirty stuff from space off of him when Reynold came.

"Hi," said Reynold, "I'm Reynold."

"I'm Marzipan, I attend her highness. You're a Cheat, aren't you?" asked Marzipan as Reynold nodded, "How'd you end up here?"

"I don't know. It was just a normal day of banishment. I was looking for something Cheats eat when there's something and BOOM! A Jedi comes saves me and stuff and stuff and POW! I'm here, and I'm getting very scared of my future," explained Reynold.

"AaAaAaAaa! Tomatoes have the same dice!" shouted Homsar.

Soon, the Nubian landed in the outskirts of Tatooine, a desert planet, to not attract attention. Coach Z was ready to leave, wearing a Tatooine farmer suit, which looked bad on him. Meanwhile, Strong Bad was looking at the hyperdrive under the floor.

"The dumb generator's gone. We need a new one," explained Strong Bad.

"Strong Bad don't let them send any trornsmissions. Be wory, I sense a distorbance in the Force," explained Coach Z.

"I know, this was the same one I had in that freakin' battleship, but look what you told me," replied Strong Bad.

Coach Z, Reynold, and Homsar began to walk towards any city in the desert.

"The suns are killing my sensitive skin!" complained Reynold.

"WAIT!" shouted Captain Mouth.

Captain Mouth and Marzipan (in a female peasant's garb) ran towards them.

"Her Highness wants to KNOW more about Tatooine, so she SENT Marzipan," explained Captain Mouth.

"Oh no, please, it's tor dangerous," replied Coach Z.

"Just make her GO with you," ordered Captain Mouth.

"All right," accepted Coach Z as Captain Mouth ran back to the Nubian.

After some walking, Coach Z, Homsar, Reynold, and Marzipan finally arrived at the city of Mos Espa, brimming with different aliens of the galaxy.

"So, where do we find a mortanance shop?" asked Coach Z.

"Let's ask directions," said Marzipan.

"Let's not," replied Coach Z.

"What is it with men and asking directions?" asked Marzipan.

"I like to ask directions," said Reynold as he stepped on goo, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!"

So after asking a killer alien and risking their lives, they arrived at a maintenance shop with some junk, droids, and The Cheat.

"_Stupid junk!"_ shouted The Cheat in his Cheatish language before facing the new arrivals, "_What do you want? Make sure you buy something expensive!"_

"Uh, we want a horperdrive generator for a Nubian," explained Coach Z.

"_Ah, Nubian! Yes, I have any parts for that piece of crap. Wait a sec. HOMESTAR! GET OVER HERE!"_ shouted The Cheat.

So Homestar ran into the shop in one second.

"_What took you so long?_" asked The Cheat.

"Um, I was doing something impowtant, just like you said," replied Homestar.

"_Never mind! Watch the store! I've got selling to do here!" _ordered The Cheat as he began to talk to Coach Z, "_So let me take you to the junkyard of what you need._"

"Okay! Hey Rornalds, don't touch anything," ordered Coach Z.

So as Coach Z and Homsar followed The Cheat out of the maintenance shop, Homestar began talking to Marzipan.

"So, awe you an angel?" asked Homestar.

"What?" asked Marzipan.

"An angel, the ones deep space pilots talk about. And uh… I fowgot what else to say," explained Homestar.

"Well, I'm not an angel, but I played one in a pageant," replied Marzipan.

"Oh, then awe you a witch's bwew?" asked Homestar.

"What's that?" asked Marzipan.

"I don't know. But I think I leawned it fwom my old mastew, Old Fat Huuuuuudge, who taught me to be a pilot, or that's me, and then he sold my mom and I to The Cheat in Podwacing bets," explained Homestar.

"So you're a slave," said Marzipan.

"Yup! I'm Homestar… Runner! A slave boy! Wait! I'm human! Just like you said!"

"Oh, well, this is a strange world," observed Marzipan.

Suddenly, a pit droid was trying to kill Reynold, but that's because he touched it.

"Hey stupid, hit the nose!" ordered Homestar.

"Thanks," thanked Reynold as he was about to do that, when the pit droid bopped Reynold in the nose, sending him into a wall.

In the junkyard behind the shop, The Cheat showed Coach Z the generator.

"_Here it is, the hyper drive generator for your Nubian. Guess what? I'm the only one in this planet who has this! But you might need to buy a new ship. It would be cheaper, so pay up!"_ ordered The Cheat.

"Okay the Chort. I have 20,000 Repooblican Credits," said Coach Z.

"_What? I need real money!" _shouted The Cheat.

So Coach Z waved his hand to use the Force on The Cheat, "Repooblican Credits will work."

"_No they won't!"_

So Coach Z tried again, "Repooblican Credits will work!"

"_No they won't! What are you, some sorta Jedi? Waving your hand like a moron? I need real money! Not the credit crap! No money, no parts, no deal! And no way to fix your dumb ship!"_ retorted The Cheat.

In the shop, Marzipan and Homestar continued having their conversation. Aw…

"So I wouldn't have lasted long if I wewen't so good at fixing cwap. I made a dwoid!" explained Homestar.

Then Coach Z and Homsar arrived.

"We're going," announced Coach Z.

"Okay, bye Homestar," said Marzipan as she, Coach Z, Homsar, and the beaten-up Reynold left.

"Bye Mawzipan!" shouted Homestar.

"_Outlanders, they think they're so smart, but they're dumb!"_ said The Cheat.

"I think they'we nice," said Homestar.

"_Clean the racks, change your mind, and you get the day off,"_ ordered The Cheat.

"Yay!" cheered Homestar as he went to the racks, not knowing that there weren't any racks in the shop, just piles of junk.


	4. Chapter 4 Homestar's House and the Bet

**Chapter 4 – Homestar's House and the Bet**

In an alley of Mos Espa, Coach Z was talking in his com-link to Strong Bad.

"Strong Bad, you sure nothing of value's on boored?" asked Coach Z.

"Well Coach, there are some supplies like food which we don't eat at all, the Queen's unnecessary wardrobe, but they aren't enough to sell and buy the generator," reported Strong Bad.

"Okay, I'll hope for some miracle," replied Coach Z as he turned off the com-link.

"Oh, not again! I don't want to go into that place of killer droids! They put me on the To-Kill List!" exclaimed Reynold.

"Well, uh, let's go somewhere," announced Coach Z.

So Coach Z, Marzipan, Homsar, and Reynold walked down the Mos Espa street. They passed by an outside café. Reynold saw some marshmallows hung on strings. So, he jumped and ate one.

"Hey! You! You have to pay seven wupiupi!" shouted Bubs.

"What?? This is a wupiupi-flavored marshmallow?" asked Reynold as he spat out the marshmallow, which landed in The Sneak's soup.

The Sneak furiously waved its nose at Reynold as it leaped at Reynold and began attacking by scratching and biting. Then Homestar came.

"Hey stupid, what the cwap awe you doing? Oh, this Cheat, uh, having fun?" asked Homestar.

The Sneak waved its nose furiously at Homestar before scuttling away. Then Coach Z, Homsar, and Marzipan arrived.

"Hey guys! This little Cheat was about to be turned into cheese by The Sneak!" said Homestar.

"Thanks! But I'm lactose intolerant," thanked Coach Z, "Anyway Rornald, be more coreful."

"But I can't help it!" replied Reynold as The Sneak continued eating its soup and the marshmallow.

* * *

At where the Nubian was, Strong Bad and Captain Mouth observed there was a sandstorm.

"The freakin' sandstorm will slow them down, as well as us!" exclaimed Strong Bad.

Then Captain Mouth got a message from his com-link.

"MOUTH!" said Captain Mouth.

"You've got mail!" said the voice from the com-link.

* * *

Homestar, Coach Z, Marzipan, Homsar, and Reynold were at Bubs' Tatooine Concession Stand.

"I'll buy two of that and two of this," said Homestar.

"That'll be four coins," replied Bubs.

"Okay, uh, want some?" asked Homestar as he showed his two that and two this.

"I think I'll have sorme," replied Coach Z as he put a that in his "pocket" and revealed his light saber on his "belt" to Homestar.

Then the sandstorm began to blow in the city.

"Oh crap! It's a sandstorm! I gotta jet!" exclaimed Bubs as he closed his concession stand, which grew wheels and sped away, and crashed into a building, "That's a nice dent I made there! I'll sell it!"

"So, whewe's you stayin?" asked Homestar.

"Oh, our ship is in the outskirts," replied Marzipan.

"Oh no! It's vewy dangewous in the outskiwts duwing a sandstowm. I'll take you to my house!" said Homestar as he led the way to his house.

So Homestar led the party to his house, opened the sliding door, and led the guests in.

"Hey "mom," I'm home!" called out Homestar.

"How cozy," commented Reynold.

Then Unnamed (my name for her, and she's really not Homestar's mom, do remember that) came.

"Oh my, Homestar, did you bring more junk monsters home again?" asked Unnamed.

"Hey! That only happened once! And that was only a chaiw we lost!" argued Homestar, "These awe my fwiends. Come on Mawzipan, let me show you my 'dwoid'," said Homestar as he ran into a room with Marzipan following.

"Your soon was very nice to ooffer us shelter," commented Coach Z.

"Come again?" asked Unnamed.

In Homestar's room, Homestar revealed his droid, Strong Sad, to Marzipan.

"Isn't he gweat?" asked Homestar.

"Well, you could make him happier. I don't think he'll cheer people up," commented Marzipan.

"Oh man! Well, he's a pwotocol dwoid for mom. Now I'll bwing him to life," said Homestar as he kicked Strong Sad, bringing him to life.

"Oh hello, my named is Strong Sad, Human Cyborg… Hey! How come I have to be a machine?" asked Strong Sad.

"At least Homsar is one too," replied Homer Starrun.

"I want my lawyer!" shouted Strong Sad.

"What lawyer? He jumped off a cliff the last time you hired him," reminded Homer Starrun.

"Oh yeah," said Strong Sad as he began walking, "This floor is unsturdy!"

"AAAAAAA! You can't survive a model cookie!" shouted Homsar.

"What do you mean I'm naked? I'm always like this," complained Strong Sad.

"So, when the stowm's over, wanna see my Podwacew?" asked Homestar.

"Okay," replied Marzipan, thrilled to be not involved with Strong Sad anymore.

* * *

In the Queen's Chamber in the Nubian, Mr. Bland sent a hologram message to the ship (yes, now he has hives and a swollen tongue and coughing).

"(Cough!)… cuzoff all food supplies (cough) until you rebern. The beth (cough) toll is catafopic! We (cough) vust vow vown (cough) to their wishes, your figh(cough)ness. Flease tell us what to (cough) foo! You fus contact me!" explained Mr. Bland as he began to have a runny nose.

When the message was over, Strong Bad immediately said, "It's a trick, send no reply or transmission, or else," as he raised a boxing glove.

* * *

In Homestar's room, Coach Z was talking to Strong Bad through his com-link.

"Uh, like you said, no reply was sent, nor any emails answered, thanks to you," explained Strong Bad.

"Yor welcome," replied Coach Z.

"What if the people _are_ dying?" asked Strong Bad.

"Well, we're running out of time."

* * *

In Coruscant, Darth Sidious and Darth Stick were on a balcony of a building overlooking the city, or city-planet. Planet-city? Anyway, they were hooded. Darth Stick wrote on a whiteboard, "Tatooine is sparsely populated. So if the trace is correct…"

Then Darth Stick erased what he wrote on the whiteboard with a dry eraser and wrote again with a marker, "…I will find them quikly, Master."

"You misspelled quickly. Anyway, move against the Jedi first. Then the Queen will be easily sent back to Naboo, where she will sign the stupid treaty," replied Darth Sidious.

Then Darth Stick wrote, "At last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi. At last we…"

Then Darth Stick erased the message and wrote a new one, "…will have our revenge."

"You have been well-trained my young apprentice, they'll be no match for you. It's too late for them to stop us now. Everything's going as planned. The Republic will be mine soon," said Darth Sidious.

Then Darth Stick wrote, "What about my share? And don't give me a small part of it."

"All right, I'll think of your share when I win, if you live," said Darth Sidious.

* * *

In Homestar's home, Homestar, Unnamed, Coach Z, Marzipan, and Reynold were having dinner on a makeshift table by eating the food from the Nubian.

"So, evew seen a Podwace?" asked Homestar.

Suddenly, Reynold' tie extended and grabbed an apple on a plate. Then the tie threw the apple into Reynold's mouth, nearly making him choke as he spat it out and onto a wall. Everyone started at him for a moment.

"Excuse me," said Reyold embarrassingly.

"I hord of Pordracing in somewhere. It's veery dangerous," said Coach Z.

"I can do it! I can do it nine, uh… nine times? Can I do it nine times?" wondered Homestar.

"Ooh! You must have Jordi reflorxes!" exclaimed Coach Z.

"Oh wight! You weminded me…" began Homestar when Reynold's tie did the same thing, but Coach Z grabbed the tie in midair, choking Reynold.

Then Coach Z revealed a little computer chip on the tie, took it off, and the tie became a normal fake tie.

"You won't do that again," said Coach Z as he examined the chip, which said "Cheat Commandos Spy Chip, Cheap as Free!" and threw it away.

"Uh, so, you'we a Jedi, wight? I saw youw light sabew," said Homestar.

"Oops, uh… I guess I killed a Jedi. Yeah! I killed your Jedi!" said Coach Z as he noticed Marzipan staring at him, "What??"

"Uh, you can't kill a Jedi, wight?" asked Homestar.

"I wish," admitted Coach Z.

"I had this one dweam of mawshmallows. I had anothew dweam whewe I was a Jedi and I fweed all the slaves! Hey! Awe you going to fwee the slaves?" asked Homestar.

"Uh, no," replied Coach Z.

"Oh man!" exclaimed Homestar.

"Okay, but I'll tell youse why we're here," said Coach Z, "But don't tell anyone."

"Okay! I didn't tell anyone youw secwet. What's youw secwet?" asked Homestar.

"Uh, we're going to Coruskant, center of the Repooblic, on an important mission, a secret one," explained Coach Z.

"So, why awe you here?" asked Homestar.

"Our ship got damaged, and we're stranded here until we can repair our ship," explained Marzipan.

"I can help! Oh wait, uh, I can't," exclaimed Homestar.

"Yeah, and we need the ports we need," said Coach Z.

"And since we don't have money, we can't get the parts we need," added Reynold.

"I wonder if these junk dealers have any weaknesses," wondered Marzipan.

"Gambling, especially on Podracing," said Unnamed.

"Oh, Poodracing. Greed can be a powerful allee, when used correctly," added Coach Z.

"I built a Podwacew! Fastest evew, going to be entewed in the big wace tomowow in Boonta Eve. Uh, I think you can entew my pod, and, I fowgot the rest of my lines," admitted Homestar.

"Homestar, The Cheat doesn't want you to…" began Unnamed.

"Oh! I wemembewed! The Cheat doesn't know. Coach Z can say its his and I'm the pilot."

"I don't want you to race Homestar. I die everytime The Cheat makes you do it."

"But you'we still alive, and The Cheat made me wace. Besides, they need money fow the pawts."

"Yor mother's right. Any other solutions?" asked Coach Z, but Unnamed shook her head.

"Let's help them! Didn't you say the biggest pwoblem in the univewse is that people don't help each othew?" asked Homestar.

"No," replied Unnamed.

"I'm sure Coach Z doesn't want to put your son, or Homestar, in danger, so we'll hope for a miracle," said Marzipan.

"No, let Homestar help you in Podracing," decided Unnamed.

* * *

After the sandstorm, Coach Z, Reynold, Marzipan, and Homsar were walking towards The Cheat's shop.

"Are you sure that we can trust Homestar? The Queen won't approve," said Marzipan.

"The Quorn doesn't need to know," replied Coach Z as he entered the shop.

"Well, I don't approve," said Marzipan under her breath.

In The Cheat's shop, Reynold was being beaten up by a gang of pit droids. Also, Coach Z was making the bet with The Cheat while Homestar did some "work."

"_So, Homestar says you want to sponser him in the race. You can't afford the parts, so how can you do this? Not on Republican Credits, duh,"_ said The Cheat.

"The Nubian will be will eentry fee," replied Coach Z.

Then Coach Z took out a small device which made a hologram of the Nubian.

"_Ooh! I want a Nubian! I never got one for Decemberween! Nor my Cheatday!"_ exclaimed The Cheat.

"It's in good odor, except for the ports we need," said Coach Z.

"_I see… But what Pod are you using? Useless over here broke my Pod in the last race. It's that second pile to your right in the junkyard,_" explained The Cheat.

"Hey! I saved the Pod, into a pile of junk. But The Sneak used his flash vents to like, tuwn it into a pile of junk!" argued Homestar.

"_Oh be quiet and do some 'work,'"_ ordered The Cheat.

"He's using my orn. Fastest one ever built," lied Coach Z.

"_Oh, did you kill anybody, because I want to know if you killed any of the people I hate, like you. Anyway, so you supply the Pod and the Nubian, I supply Useless. So we split the winnings 50-50?" _asked The Cheat.

"Whort? Forfty-forfty?" asked Coach Z, "Why not you front the money? If we win, you get the winnings, minus the ports needed I need. If we lose, you keep the ship," explained Coach Z.

"_Wait, if you win, you're giving me the money for the parts! So I win it all! But I want a Nubian too! DEAL!"_ exclaimed The Cheat as he shook hands with Coach Z with great difficulty, since The Cheat's so short compared to Coach Z.


	5. Chapter 5 Preparing for the Race, MidiC...

Replies to reviewers:  
love your story: Thanks for your review.

The Terminator: Well, I didn't really know about the Nubian thing, but let's just say that Nubian stands for the name of the ship and it's from Naboo for this story. Okay? Okay. The same mistake won't be made in the sequels.**

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Chapter 5 – Preparing for the Race, Midi-Chlorians, and the Second Bet

Outside of the Nubian, Strong Bad was talking to Coach Z through his com-link 2000.

"So what if this plan doesn't work? We'll be stranded here. Don't get me wrong, but, I DON'T WANT TO BE STRANDED IN THIS WASTELAND!" exclaimed Strong Bad.

"I just trorst Homestar. Besides, he can get us our ports," said Coach Z as he turned off his com-link and went to the porch of the slave quarters, where Unnamed was, watching Homestar, Marzipan, Reynold, Homsar, and Strong Sad work on Homestar's Podracer.

"You should be proud of Homestar," said Coach Z.

"I know! That's why I won the "Being Proud of your Son" Contest for the last something years," said Unnamed.

"And he has sporcial powers," added Coach Z.

"That too," said Unnamed.

"He can see things before they happen. That's why he has such queeck reflorxes. A Jordi troit," said Coach Z.

"Is mispronunciation another Jedi trait?" asked Unnamed.

"No, that's just a problem with me," admitted Coach Z, "Ya know, if he was born in the Repooblic, we would have found him faster."

"Can you train him?" asked Unnamed.

"I'm not so sure," replied Coach Z.

"He deserves a better life than a slave's life," said Unnamed.

"Who was his forther?"

"He had no father for some reason. And I didn't find him in a basket outside of my house," replied Unnamed.

Meanwhile, some of Homestar's friends (Frank Bennedetto, the painting of a Man with the Big Knife, Grape Nuts Robot, 1936 Homestar, and Senor Cardgage (don't ask how the first three were able to move)) came to see Homestar's Podracer.

"Will you look at that? An unidentified droid thingie," said 1936 Homestar with no clue what he was saying.

"Hey guys! I'm going to wace in the Boonta Eve wace tomowow!" announced Homestar.

"What?" asked 1936 Homestar.

"You've ben hoving on that sence the thawn of thime," mumbled Senor Cardgage.

"Now spell: You will never win with that piece of crap," said the Grape Nuts Robot.

"…" said the painting of a Man with the Big Knife as Homestar's friends left.

"Hey Weynolds, don't touch those enewgy bindews, fow they numb you fow houws," warned Homestar as Reynold was near where the energy binders were in the Podracer.

"Oh, thanks," thanked Reynold as he accidentally dropped a screwdriver.

Reynold picked up the screwdriver when his tongue accidentally was electructed by the energy binders as he dropped the tool in the energy binder plate. So Reynold reached in the energy binder plate, but suddenly, his hand was stuck in the plate.

"Voh, vy vong, vaf. Velf, vy vand, veez thont thoff uf vy vand!" said Reynold with the swollen tongue.

"Well, Homsar, if that's your name. I do say Reynold is a stupid type of person," observed Strong Sad.

"Let's get this Podracer started!" said Coach Z.

"Okay!" replied Homestar as he went into a little capsule behind the two engines.

Marzipan was kind enough to yank Reynold out of the energy binder plate just as the engine came to life, nearly slicing Reynold's hand off. Then the Podracer began to work.

"YAY! IT'S WOWKING! CAN YOU HEAR ME?" Homestar asked Coach Z.

"WHAT? CAN YOU STEER THREE?" asked Coach Z.

* * *

That night, Homestar was sitting on the balcony rail of his house while Coach Z was tending a cut on Homestar's, um, well, Coach Z didn't do it on the arm. Still, he got a blood sample from him, somehow. Homestar was looking at the stars in the sky.

"Let me tend to this cort," said Coach Z as he was cleaning the "cut".

"Look at the planets! Has anyone seen them all?" asked Homestar.

"Um, I don't know," replied Coach Z.

"I want to be the first one to see them all!"

"Homestar! Get to bed!" shouted Unnamed from the house.

Then Coach Z scraped Homestar's blood onto a com-link chip.

"What awe you doing?" asked Homestar.

"Checking yor bloood," replied Coach Z.

"Weiwd way to…" began Homestar.

"HOMESTAR! GET IN HERE AT ONCE!" shouted Unnamed.

"Uh, go back to yor room, you have a beeg day tomoroow," said Coach Z as Homestar ran into his house.

Then Coach Z put the chip in his com-link and began talking to Strong Bad.

"Hey Strong Bad, I'm sending you a bloood sample. I need a midi-chloorian count," said Coach Z.

"What the crap? This guy has over 20,000 midi-chlorians! Cool! Even Pom-Pom…" began Strong Bad.

"Master Pom-Pom," corrected Coach Z.

"Even Master Pom-Pom doesn't have a midi-chlorian count that's this freakingly high!" exclaimed Strong Bad.

"No Jordi has."

"What does it mean?" asked Strong Bad.

"I dunno," said Coach Z.

* * *

Ina Tatooine desert, a Sith spaceship landed on a mesa, opened up the door and ramp for Darth Stick to exit the ship. Then he looked through electrobinoculars at the landscape and spotted three different cities, Mos Espa, Mos Eisley, and Mos Whatever. Then he pushed buttons on his electric armband to make three different probe droids fly to the three cities.

* * *

In the Main Hangar of the arena, there were a lot of pilots and droids tending to Podracers. The Cheat was talking to Coach Z.

"_I want to see the Nubian when the race is over,_" said The Cheat.

"You will, the Chort. You'll get the mooney and we'll fly to the sky!" said Coach Z.

"_Not unless Homestar doesn't win_," retorted The Cheat.

"What? You're not sooporting Homestar?" asked Coach Z.

"_Don't get me wrong. I like Homestar, my own little slave! But I bet all my money on The Sneak,"_ said The Cheat as he pointed to The Sneak, who is in a bubble bath and is being tended by a female version of The Sneak.

"Oh no!" cried out Reynold from recognition.

"So, why do you think he'll win?" asked Coach Z.

"_He always wins, duh, and I'm betting heavily on The Sneak,_" replied The Cheat.

"Okay, I'll do that."

"_What?"_

"I'll worger my new racing pod on Homestar and Unnamed," said Coach Z.

"_No! No two slaves are worth one Podracer, I mean, no Podracer is worth two slaves!"_ angrily argued The Cheat.

"Okay, Homestar," said Coach Z.

Then The Cheat got out a blue and red dice.

"_Here is a chance dice. If it lands on blue, it's Homestar. Red, it's Unnamed,_" said The Cheat as he dropped the dice as Coach Z used the Force on the dice.

And it landed on blue, making The Cheat angry.

"_You won the small toss, outlander, but you won't win the race. So there's going to be no difference!" _shouted The Cheat angrily as he tossed the dice away, hitting Reynold's head. Then The Cheat went to Homestar, 1936 Homestar, Marzipan, and Unnamed riding on Eopies, some camel-like creatures. Then The Cheat said to Homestar, "_Better stop your friends betting, or I'll own him too!"_

"What'd he mean by that?" asked Homestar.

"Uh, nothing," said Coach Z.

Meanwhile, Strong Sad and Homsar were having a little discussion about space flights.

"What? Space flights sound terrifying! I know they won't squeeze me in one of those ships!" said Strong Sad.

"AAAAAAAAAAA! I can't see the pound!" shouted Homsar.

Then 1936 Homestar said to Homestar, "You going to finish the tooch?"

"What is he talking about?" asked Marzipan.

"Oh wight, I didn't talk to you about it. I nevew finished a wace!" said Homestar

"What? You didn't win at all?" asked Marzipan.

"Nope!"

"Not even finished?"

"Nope! But maybe today."

* * *

One of Darth Stick's prode droids was flying around Mos Espa, looking for the Jedis or Queen Marzipala.

* * *

In the Desert Race Arena, a huge amount of people were seated on seats in the amphitheathere, cheering their lungs out. There were also large viewing platforms over the racetrack.

"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen and aliens!" said the Announcer in the Announcer's Box, "We have perfect weather for the Boonta Eve today! The contestants are making their way to the grid!"

A line of podracers pulled by aliens and pilots made their way to the starting line while other aliens (and Strong Sad) were carrying flags.

"Yes! There they are! There is Sickly Sam from the black and white world!" said the Announcer as Sickly Sam waved weakly at the spectators, "And…"

(Some minutes of introducing miscellaneous racers)

"…On the front line is the reigning champion, The Sneak! Today's favorite! And Homestar Runner, a late entry and local boy! Better luck this time!" announced the Announcer as the spectators cheered for the racers, more for The Sneak than any other, less for Homestar than any other.

The flaggers were moving onto the track. Then Jabba Da Huuuuuudge arrived with the King of Town next to him. All looked at Jabba Da Huuuuuudge.

"And his honor, our glorious host, Jabba Da Huuuuuudge!" announced the Announcer.

"_Welcome, go and see if you lose more money than gain_," said Jabba Da Huuuuuudge in its bubbly, disgusting language.

1936 Homestar was helping in doing last-minute checks on Homestar's Podracer. Then Unnamed talked to Homestar.

"Be safe," said Unnamed.

"Okay!" replied Homestar.

Meanwhile, The Sneak did a little work of his own on Homestar's Podracer and then scuttled off.

_"Let the race begin!"_ announced Jabba Da Huuuuuudge, making the crowd give a loud cheer.

Meanwhile, Coach Z helped Homestar in his Podracer.

"I don't need help!" said Homestar as he struggled to get himself in the Podracer.

"So, you all right? Of course you are. Just concentrate. Forl. Don't think. Trorst your instincts. May the Force be with you," said Coach Z as he left to the viewing platform and the pilots get themselves in their Podracers and began starting them up.

"Oh my, this is going to get messy," said Reynold in the viewing platform as the flaggers left to where they came from.

"The power couplings are being activated! The flaggers are leaving the field!" said the Announcer, "Start your engines!" as the pilots did so.

Just then, Lakitu, a yellow bird-like creature with goggles and a traffic light and sitting in a cloud with a face on it appeared and…

"What? Lakitu? What are you doing here? Go back to Mushroom Kingdom where you belong!" scolded Homer Starrun, so Lakitu flew away, disappointed, "Cloud butt."

Meanwhile, a rock candy was given to Jabba Da Huuuuuudge, but instantly, the King of Town reached for it and ate it.

"_You know that's pea flavored_," said Jabba Da Huuuuuudge.

"What? I hate peas!" exclaimed the King of Town as he spit out the rock candy, which was shot to a gong, signaling the start of the race.

Meanwhile, a green light on a bridge over the track flashed in the center. All Podracers sped off to start the race, except for two, Homestar's and Sickly Sam's.

"And they're off! Except for Homestar Runner's and Sickly Sam's!" announced the Announcer as the audience laughed at them.


	6. Chapter 6 Podracing and the Results

For those of you who know the Episode I's Podrace detail by detail, I did some improvisation, for I don't know the Podrace detail by detail (unfortunately).

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* * *

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**Chapter 6 – Podracing and the Results**

Homestar was pressing all the buttons and switching the levers extremely furiously.

"Oh just wowk, will you?" asked Homestar as he banged his helmeted head on the buttons, making his Podracer zoom away behind the other competitors, besides Sickly Sam's, who was still having trouble.

"And there goes Runner! He needs to catch up with the other racers!" said the Announcer.

The Podracers flew across the desert. The Sneak was neck and neck with another Podracer. They go round the first turn in the track. Then The Sneak tackled the other Podracer with his large Pod to make the other Pod crash into a rock formation and blow up in a big fiery ball, not seen from space. Homestar managed to pass by the Pods in front of him easily, except for one Pod. But Homestar managed to get past by flying over the other Pod. Then the Pods entered a ravine.

"I can fly!" exclaimed Homestar.

Then the Pods flew through another ravine, and then they went to a field with rock arches which they went through. Then the Pods entered a cave. One Pod flew into a stalagmite (or stalactites, anybody?) and blew up. Homestar managed to fly past the destruction. Then the Pods exited the cave and entered a place with a dune.

Meanwhile, one of the few Marshies perched on top of the dune decided to fly in front of Homestar and scare him, but Homestar just sent Marshie flying into a rock wall.

"I hate that fweakin mawshmallow," said Homesetar.

"Looks like a few Marshies have camped by the race track!" said the Announcer.

Jabba Da Huuuuuudge and the spectators were watching the race on hand-held view screens. In the viewing platform with Coach Z, Marzipan, Reynold, and Unnamed were watching Homestar's progress.

"So where is Runner in the race?" asked Reynold.

Meanwhile, The Sneak was being challenged by another Pod. So The Sneak slowed down a little while the other Pod was beside The Sneak's Pod. Then The Sneak dove at an open side vent of the other Pod and bit the wiring and went back in its Pod. The other Pod blew up. Homestar was in an area with a lot of Pods racing. One Pod was destroyed from flying too low.

In the arena, Sickly Sam finally got his Pod working, which blew up instantly. Then The Sneak and other racers came.

"And it looks like Sickly Sam is out of the race! And The Sneak made it to the finish line in record time!" announced the Announcer.

Meanwhile, Homestar's Pod arrived, making his fans cheer. Meanwhile, Strong Sad was talking to Homsar.

"Whoa! Glad that's over. I didn't want Homestar to be killed," said Strong Sad.

"Daaaa! It's not over till the fat beaver sings!" shouted Homsar.

"What? There's two more laps? Oh dear," said Strong Sad.

"Well, Runner's in sixth place! Not bad!" said the Announcer.

Some Pods were in the pit stops, being attended to some droids. One Pod was destroyed by a clumsy droid. Oops!

In the desert, The Sneak held up a monkey wrench and let go of it, sending it into a Pod's engine, causing it to veer to Homestar, but he dodged the ruined Pod.

Meanwhile, in the place with the dune, another Marshie spooked out another Podracer, making it crash into a rock wall. Soon, The Sneak and Homestar cross the finish line again.

"And it's time for the final lap! The Sneak's in the lead with Homestar lagging behind!" announced the Announcer.

Once The Sneak and Homestar reached the ravine, The Sneak used its side exhaust port to try to cut through Homestar's engines. This didn't disable Homestar's engines, but it made him be forced onto the service ramp, flying high above the cliffs.

"Homestar Runner's been forced onto the service ramp!" exclaimed the Announcer.

Then Homestar flew into the ravine and flew in front of The Sneak.

"And Homestar Runner has the lead!" exclaimed the Announcer again.

Then they flew to the fields, flying past two bewildered Unguraits at the sight of two speeding Pods. However as the two Pods entered the arched area, a little part was dangling off Homestar's Pod, and that little part was important. Soon, a little part came off of Homestar's Pod.

"Uh-oh," said Homestar as his Pod was leaving a trail of smoke.

After having the smoke in its face, The Sneak flew past Homestar's Pod. Soon Homestar managed to put his Pod into auxiliary system by messing with the controls and managed to race on to The Sneak. Homestar decided to attack The Sneak's Pod, and they ended up having their engine straps tangled up.

"Incredible! They're neck and neck!" exclaimed the Announcer.

On the final stretch, Homestar tried to steer his Pod away from The Sneak's. The Sneak kept on waving its nose at Homestar in anger. Soon, Homestar managed to finally break away from The Sneak's Pod, sending The Sneak's Pod flying into some rock formations. One engine was destroyed by the formation while the other blew up. Then The Sneak ended up in the desert with the ruins of his Pod. The Sneak waved its nose furiously in anger that it was defeated by Homestar.

Finally, Homestar made it to the finish line, making the whole amphitheater and the ones in the viewing platforms explode in cheering.

"Homestar Runner wins! The crowd's going nuts! Let's cheer for Homestar!" announced the Announcer as he began chanting, "Ooh! Ah! Ooh! Ah!"

Soon, he realized everyone was staring at the announcer box with facial expressions that said, "You're weird."

"Okay, cheer for Homestar which ever way you like," said the Announcer.

So, the crowd cheered for Homestar like the Announcer did seconds ago. Also, 1936 Homestar and other spectators went up to Homestar and did what fans would do to the winner. Meanwhile, the King of Town (who was feasting) woke up Jabba Da Huuuuuudge.

"Oh yellow Jello! Oh! I gotta have yellow Jello!" said the King of Town as Jabba woke up and saw the results of the race.

In a private box of the arena, after giving money to those who The Cheat lost bets to, The Cheat talked to Coach Z.

"_You! You swindled me! You knew Homestar was going to win! I lost everything!"_ shouted The Cheat.

"You gormble, you'll lose. Bring the ports to the main hangor, and I'll come release Homestar," explained Coach Z.

"_No! It wasn't a fair bet!"_ exclaimed The Cheat.

"Then let's discoose this with Da Hoooooodgie," said Coach Z.

"_Fine! Take him!"_ shouted The Cheat.

In front of the Nubian, Coach Z, Reynold, and Marzipan arrived on Eopies with the parts they needed to repair the ship.

"Start getting the horper drive generator installed," Coach Z told Strong Bad, "I'm going back for some oonfinished bweez-ness. I won't be loung."

"Let me guess, another pathetic life form?" asked Strong Bad.

"I'm not pathetic!" argued Reynold.

"Shut up," replied Strong Bad.

"It's Homestar Runner, the one who got us the parts," said Coach Z.

In Homestar's house, Homestar ran into the room where Unnamed was looking at the coins on the table won while Coach Z followed. Homestar dropped a lot of coins on the table to add to the huge pile.

"Hey 'mom', we sold the Pod!" announced Homestar.

"Oh! How great!" replied Unnamed.

"I also have something orlse for you," said Coach Z.

"What? A Stinkoman action figuwe?" asked Homestar.

"I should'a gotten you that in the concession stand, but it was soold, to an Oongerait. No, even better, yor free!" announced Coach Z.

"What?" asked Homestar.

"Yor no longer a slave," explaiend Coach Z.

"Yay!" cheered Homestar.

"Now you can follow your dreams!" exclaimed Unnamed.

"I don't see my dweams," replied Homestar as he looked around to find something.

"So, will he become a Jedi?" asked Unnamed.

"I'm not really syure about that, considering the Council's decision. But our meeting was a coingcidence, not accident, so Homestar is bound to be a Jedi, I hope," replied Coach Z.

"Yay! I get to go in a starship!" exclaimed Homestar.

"But the training will be deeficult, like being a Jedi," warned Coach Z.

"Let's go! I'll pack my stuff! Come on 'mom', pack youw stuff too!" said Homestar.

"But, the thing is, The Chort wouldn't free your 'mom'," explained Coach Z.

"But that money…" began Homestar.

"Nope, won't do it," said Coach Z.

"Homestar, my place is here. My future is here. But it's time for you to let me go and me to let you go. I can't go with you," explained Unnamed.

"Okay! I'll go and pack my stuff!" said Homestar as he ran into his room.

In Homestar's room, he packed all of his belongings in a little sack and talked to Strong Sad.

"So Stwong Sad, I'm fwee, going to go in a stawship, and get outta hewe to become a Jedi," explained Homestar.

"Well, I wish you well, Homestar. But, uh, actually, I don't feel like I need anything else to make me," said Strong Sad.

"Oh don't wowwy, 'mom' won't sell you. BYE!" said Homestar as he left.

"_Sell me_?!? Who would want a depressed humanlike droid?" asked Strong Sad.

"Good point!" shouted Homestar as he left.

Outside of Homestar's house, Homestar and Coach Z were ready to leave with Unnamed watching them. Suddenly, Homestar had a feeling of sadness, like he's supposed to, since a picture of Lil' Brudder flew in front of him (it's the wind). Suddenly, Homestar ran to Unnamed.

"I can't do it! Let's kidnap you!" said Homestar.

"This is one of those times when you have to do something hard. You can do this," explained Unnamed.

"Will I evew see you again?" asked Homestar.

"Perhaps, in the next movie."

"Psst, no spoiling for Homestar Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones," whispered Homer Starrun.

"Okay, I think I'll fwee you fwom The Cheat when I become a Jedi," said Homestar.

"Good, now go, and don't look back," said Unnamed.

"Okay, BYE!" said Homestar as he walked away like nothing happened.

"How rude," said Unnamed.

In the desert, a probe droid came to Darth Stick and beeped at him. Then Darth Stick got on a speeder bike and sped away going the direction the probe droid told him to go.


	7. Chapter 7 Sith's Revelation

**Replying to reviewers (very few):** For the one who said Grape Nuts Robot says "corp" instead of crap, that was when Grape Nuts Robot said "Corp-for-brains", but not talking about Homestar's Podracer, so it's different. Thanks for reviewing.

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**Chapter 7 – Sith's Revelation**

Homestar and Coach Z were running towards the Nubian. Homestar was ahead and was about to board the Nubian when Coach Z saw Darth Stick's speeder speeding towards Homestar.

"Homestar! Duck!" warned Coach Z.

"Ducks? What ducks? What kind of fweakin' ducks live in the desewt?" asked Homestar as the speeder was getting closer.

"Just fall down!" ordered Coach Z.

"Okay!" said Homestar as he fell flat on his face just as the speeder sped past where Homestar's head was.

Then Darth Stick jumped off his bike in a very cool flip jumpy way, brandished his red light saber, and began attacking Coach Z, using his green light saber.

"Homestar! Go to the sheep! Tell them to take off and fly low!" ordered Coach Z as Homestar ran to the Nubian.

Darth Stick and Coach Z kept on blocking their attacks with their light sabers. They haven't done any damage using the light sabers yet, but fatigue was settling in on Coach Z.

Inside the cockpit of the ship…

"Coach Z's in twouble! He says to take off and fly low!" said Homestar.

"Okay, do that, Mexican weirdo," ordered Strong Bad.

"Yessir," replied Senor as he began flying the ship a few feet above the ground with the spacecraft ramp open.

Coach Z and Darth Stick still fought against each other with their light sabers, displaying some acrobatic moves to dodge death blows. When the ship was close to the battle, Coach Z jumped onto the ramp just as the ramp closed and the ship flew away, leaving Darth Stick in the desert, annoyed that he was foiled from killing a Jedi. Then the Nubian flew away from Tatooine at last.

"Awe you all wight?" asked Homestar as he and Strong Bad ran up to the exhausted Coach Z.

"I'm all right. That's a sooprise I won't forget," replied Coach Z.

"What the crap was that?" asked Strong Bad.

"Well, he was well trained in the Jedi arts, he's after the Queen," replied Coach Z.

"What do we do?" asked Homestar.

"Uh, what kind of question was that? If we just left that attacker to rot in the desert wasteland," said Strong Bad.

"Hey!" shouted Homestar.

"Uh, Homestar, this is my apprentice, Strong Bad," said Coach Z.

"Hi Jedi Stwong Bad!" said Homestar.

"It's been barely five minutes, and I already hate you," muttered Strong Bad.

In Naboo, Blue Laser was talking to Mr. Bland, who got rid of the swollen tongue, for the author's sake, but still had hives, coughing, sneezing, and runny noses.

"YOUR STRIKE WILL LOSE! THE QUEEN'S LOST, YOUR PEOPLE ARE STARVING, AND YOU'RE GOING TO DIE PAINFULLY OR FROM THE ALLERGY! TAKE HIM AWAY!" screeched Blue Laser.

"We're a democracy, not a planet ruled by tyranny! You'll lose, A-CHOO!" sneezed Mr. Bland as a Battle Droid took him away.

Then another Battle Droid talked to Blue Laser, "Mr. Blue Laser, sir? We just found out about the Underwater Cheat Commandos Headquarters Playset in the swamp. We'll attack it."

"FAN-FREAKIN-SUPER-TASTIC! AT LAST, WE CAN CRUSH THE CHEAT COMMANDOS!" screeched Blue Laser as ominous music played.

In the Nubian in space, everyone but Marzipan was asleep, even Homsar and Reynold. Marzipan, who was awake, went to a monitor and watched Mr. Bland's hologram message from before.

"(Cough!)… cuzoff all food supplies (cough) until you rebern. The beth (cough) toll is catafopic! We (cough) vust vow vown (cough) to their wishes, your figh(cough)ness. Flease tell us what to (cough) foo! You fus contact me!" explained Mr. Bland as he began to have a runny nose.

"So, awe you, um, all wight?" asked Homestar who was sitting on a chair, "By the way, is the aiw-conditioning on? I'm feeling cold again," said Homestar.

So Marzipan got a sheet and put it over Homestar.

"Anyway, the Queen's worried, for her people are dying, so she's going to the Senate, but I don't know what will happen," replied Marzipan.

"Oh, I fowgot!" said Homestar as he got out something made out of wood, "Um, it's a cawving showing you'll have good fowtune. To me, it's just wood."

"Oh Homestar, that's so sweet," said Marzipan as she took the object.

"Weally? To me, it's just wood."

"I'll remember about this when we return to the capital with the Queen. I'll always care for you, Homestar," said Marzipan.

"Me too, but I miss, um, 'mom'," confessed Homestar.

* * *

Soon, the Nubian arrived at Coruscant, the city planet.

"Coruscant, the capital of the Republic. The entire planet is one big city," explained Senor.

"That is _so _cool!" exclaimed Homestar as he looked at the city from the window.

"And look, there's Chancellor Princey, Senator Homeschool, and some GUARDS!" said Captain Mouth as the Nubian landed on the landing platform with the aforementioned people.

Then the Jedis, Reynold, Homestar left the ship and bowed before Chancellor Princey and Senator Homeschool, though while bowing, Reynold stumbled and fell on the platform. Then Captain Mouth, the Queen, and her handmaidens (including Marzipan), left the ship. Then Homeschool talked to Queen Marzipala.

"It's a great gift to see you alive. Here is Chancellor Princey," said Homeschool.

"Welcome your highness. It's an honor to finally meet Queen Marzipala. You must be distressed over the invasion! We'll settle this with a special session in the Senate!" explained Chancellor Princey.

"I'm grateful for your concern, Chancellor," replied Queen Marzipala.

Then Homeschool began talking to Queen Marzipala secretly. In the living area of Homeschool's quarters, Homeschool was talking about the important things to Queen Marzipala.

"The Senate and the Republic is not great as it was years ago. The senators are greedy, squabbling crapfaces who look for themselves and their home systems. No interest in public goods, no civility, just politics. Your majesty, I fear that the Senate won't act on the invasion," explained Homeschool.

"Chancellor Princey says there's hope," replied Marzipala.

"But he's weakening, and he has little power now."

"So what do we do?"

"We need a stronger Supreme Chancellor. One who is like me! You just call on a No Confidence vote against Chancellor Princey," explained Homeschool.

"He's been our strongest leader. Is there any other way?" asked Marzipala.

"No! Unless you would submit a plea to the courts…" began Homeschool.

"No, they take years to settle a decision, and by then, people of Naboo would be gone. We need to stop the Federation."

"Be realistic Queen. We need to let the Federation take control for a while, unless someone like me becomes Chancellor, hint, hint, wink, wink."

* * *

In the council chambers of the Jedi Temple, Coach Z and Strong Bad were in front of several Jedi Masters, including Master Strong Mad and Master Pom-Pom.

"So this guy's a Sorth lord," explained Coach Z.

"A SITH LORD?" shouted Strong Mad.

"Impossible!" said Master Wheelchair, "The Sith have been extinct for a millennium! We should focus on killing Eh! Steve!"

"_The Republic is being threatened, then the Sith are involved," _bubbled Pom-Pom.

"Uh, Pom-Pom? You although you bubble, you still need to talk like Yoda does," said Homer Starrun.

"_Okay. The Republic is being threatened, then involved the Sith are,"_ bubbled Pom-Pom.

"WE DON'T KNOW THE REVENGE OF THE SITH!" shouted Strong Mad.

"_Hard to see, the dark side is. Discover who this assassin is, we must,_" bubbled Pom-Pom.

"I hope he will reveal himself again!" shouted Master Wheelchair.

"TARGET QUEEN! HATE CHAIR! BUBS!" shouted Strong Mad.

"_With this Naboo Queen you must stay, Coach Z. Protect her,"_ ordered Pom-Pom.

"WE'LL WIN!" shouted Strong Mad.

"_May the Force be with you,"_ bubbled Pom-Pom.

As Strong Bad was about to leave, Coach Z continued to face the council.

"_Master Coach Z more to say, have you?"_ asked Pom-Pom.

"Um, well you see, Master Pom-Pom, I found another Jedi hopeful," said Coach Z.

"_A hopeful, you say?"_ asked Pom-Pom.

"HOMESTAR?" asked Strong Mad.

"Why, yes. Homestar has a lot of midi-chlorians," said Coach Z.

"CHOSEN ONE PROPHESY HOMESTAR?" asked Strong Mad.

"Why does Strong Mad have to be the wise Mace Windu?" asked Strong Bad.

"_I don't know, I mean, I know don't,"_ replied Pom-Pom.

"So, let's torst the boy," said Coach Z.

"_Trained as a Jedi, you request for him?"_ asked Pom-Pom.

"Something like that," replied Coach Z.

"BRING HIM TO US!" shouted Strong Mad.

"_Tested he will be_," bubbled Pom-Pom.


	8. Chapter 8 A Look in Politics and Jedis

WARNING: This chapter, as well as the next, does not include a lot of exciting action, such as fighting. This chapter is political-themed and there's Homestar's Jedi test, but other than that, please REVIEW!**

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**Chapter 8 – A look in Politics and Jedis**

In the Queen Quarters of Coruscant, Homestar went to a door with two knights.

"What shall you want? A challenge? Or a moat?" asked the knight.

"Mawzipan, Mawzipala's handmaiden," replied Homestar.

"Okay, go in," ordered the knight as they opened the door, allowing Homestar to go in.

Homestar was greeted by a handmaiden, What's Her Face.

"Yes, what do you want?" asked What's Her Face.

"Uh, whewe's Mawzipan?" asked Homestar.

"Who's him?" asked Queen Marzipala as he came.

"Homestar Runner, to see Marzipan, your Highness," replied What's Her Face.

"I've sent Marzipan on an errand," said Queen Marzipala.

"I'm going to the Jedi Temple to stawt my twaining, I hope," said Homestar, "I may not see her again, so, uh, I wanted to say good-bye."

"We'll tell her that. We're sure her heart goes with you," said Queen Marzipala.

"Thank you Mawzipala!" said Homestar as he ran off without bowing (how rude).

* * *

In the Coruscant Galactic Senate Building, thousands of senators and aides sat in a circular assembly area. Chancellor Princey was on an elevated area in the center. Senator Homeschool, Queen Marzipala, two of her handmaidens, and Captain Mouth were in a floating platform that was flying slowly around.

"The Chair recognizes Senator Homeschool of Naboo," announced Chancellor Princey.

"Supreme Chancellor, delegates of the Senate, a tragedy…" began Homeschool, but for your sake (as the reader), this is all boring politic stuff. So I'll reduce it in a paragraph.

Basically, Homeschool announced what's going on at Naboo and the Trade Federation System. Then Queen Marzipala says practically the same thing Homeschool says, but it's more about the droid army invading Naboo. Then another Senator (who is probably Blue Laser's friend/relative/ally/someone who supports Blue Laser's invasion) tries to suggest that a commission should be sent to Naboo to confirm the whole thing, but Princey overrules that. Then Homeschool told Marzipala what to do, and Princey had Marzipala speak.

"I will not defer. I have come to resolve this attack, but all you do is bicker on nonsense while my people suffer and die! I think new leadership is needed! I move for a 'vote of no confidence' in Chancellor Princey's leadership!" declared Queen Marzipala.

"What? No!" cried out "Chancellor" Princey.

Soon, the assembly was full of voices chanting, "Vote now! Vote now!"

"You see your Majesty," Homeschool said to Queen Marzipala, "the tide is with us. Princey will be voted out, and they'll elect a new Chancellor, like me."

* * *

In the balcony of the Jedi Temple, Coach Z and Strong Bad were discussing about Homestar becoming a Jedi.

"Homestar will not pass the test. He's too old," said Strong Bad, "And won't become… Oops! Better not spoil Episode Three!"

"Homestar will become a Jordi," said Coach Z.

"No he won't."

"Will too."

"No he won't."

"Will too."

"No he won't."

"Will too."

"Don't defy the Council again, Coach. That's embarrassing," said Strong Bad.

"I'll do whort I must," said Coach Z.

"Coach, you should be sitting in the Council now! Instead, you're a, lower than Council."

"You have much to learn, my approrntice."

* * *

In the Council Chambers, Homestar was standing in front of the council, reciting what's on Strong Mad's hand held computer screen.

"A ship," said Homestar as Strong Mad punched a button on the computer, "A cup," then Strong Mad punched the computer screen, "A big hole in the computew box," then Strong Mad ripped the computer in pieces, "Computew shweds."

"_Good, good, young one. How feel you?" _asked Pom-Pom.

"Uh, is the heating on?" asked Homestar.

"YES!" shouted Strong Mad.

"Uh, cold," replied Homestar.

"_Afraid are you,"_ bubbled Pom-Pom.

"I'm not afwaid!"

"_See through you, we can,"_ bubbled Pom-Pom.

"Okay! What am I going to say next? Mastew Fwenchman, ow Mastew Hoffman?" asked Homestar.

"_First Frenchman Master is. Change to then Hoffman Master,"_ bubbled Pom-Pom.

"Whoa," exclaimed Homestar, "You'we the only one who got it wight!"

"BE MINDFUL!" shouted Strong Mad.

"Your thoughts dwell on your motherrrrrrrr!" said Master Wheelchair.

"I miss her," said Homestar.

"_Afraid to lose her, I think,"_ bubbled Pom-Pom.

"What's that got to do with anything?" asked Homestar.

"_Everything! Fear is the path to the dark side! Fear leads to anger... anger leads to hate... hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you."_

* * *

In Homeschool's quarters, Queen Marzipala was looking at something outside the window, maybe looking at some speeder crashes, like the one which created a big fiery ball seen from space. Then Reynold walked up to her and began talking to her.

"You think your people are going to die?"

"I don't know."

"The Cheat Commandos get killed too, won't they?" asked Reynold with worry.

"I hope not," replied Marzipala.

"You know, the Cheat Commandos won't give up without fight. We have a grand army, which is why you don't like us, I think," explained Reynold.

Just then, Homeschool and Captain Mouth walked into the room.

"Your HIGHNESS, Senator Homeschool has been NOMINATED to succeed Princey as SUPREME CHANCELLOR!" announced Captain Mouth.

"If I'm elected, I'll make the Republic a democracy again, put an end to corruption, stop the Trade Federation, and free all people," explained Homeschool.

"Who else is nominated?" asked Marzipala.

"I don't know, but it doesn't MATTER!" said Captain Mouth.

"I feel confident. Our 'situation' will create a strong sympathy vote for us. I will be Chancellor, I promise you," said Senator (and maybe future-Chancellor) Homeschool.

"But by the time the election's over, our people and cities and way of life will be gone," said Marzipala.

"I understand your concern, Your Highness, but the Federation has control over our planet. The law is in their favor," said Homeschool.

"Okay, then I'll go back to Naboo, bye!" said Marzipala as she began to leave.

"No wait! They'll make you sign a treaty!" warned Homeschool.

"What treaty? Captain, ready my ship!" ordered Marzipala.

"Wait! It's not safe!"

"No where's safe, but I'm still going back. BYE!" said Marzipala as she and her handmaidens and Captain Mouth left the room.

* * *

In the Council Chambers of the Jedi Temple, Coach Z, Strong Bad, and Homestar were in front of the Jedi Council.

"TOO HIGH MIDIC!" shouted Strong Mad.

"The force is strong with him!" said Wheelchair.

"He shorl be trorined, then," said Coach Z.

"NO HE WON'T!" shouted Strong Mad.

"What?"

"TOO OLD AND MAD!" shouted Strong Mad.

"Like you?" muttered Strong Bad so only Coach Z could hear him.

"He's the chorsen one, I know it!" said Coach Z.

_"Clouded Homestar's future is, masked by his youth," _bubbled Pom-Pom.

"I'll troin him then, as a Pordawan."

"_An apprentice you have, Coach Z. Impossible, to take a second,"_ bubbled Pom-Pom.

"FORBIDDEN!" shouted Strong Mad.

"Oh shut up," said Jedi Master Tompkins (teenager-version).

"Strong Bad's ready," said Coach Z.

"And he's not lying. I'm ready for the freakin' trials," said Strong Bad.

"_Ready so early, are you? What know you of ready?"_ asked Pom-Pom.

"What? I'm ready! Seriously!" argued Strong Bad.

"Well, he's hordstrong, but he needs to learn a little from me," explained Coach Z.

"What? How dare you support me in a bad way, when you just supported me in a good way!" shouted Strong Bad.

"GO BACK WITH MARZIPALA! VOTING TIME!" shouted Strong Mad.

"_And draw out the Queen's attacker,"_ ordered Pom-Pom.

"Events are going too fast!" said Wheelchair.

"_Homestar's fate will be decided later,"_ bubbled Pom-Pom.

"So I take him for now, right?" asked Coach Z.

"_Take him with you. Train him not,"_ bubbled Pom-Pom.

"PROTECT HER, NO WAR!" ordered Strong Mad.

"_May the Force be with you,"_ bubbled Pom-Pom.

* * *

On the landing platform during the nighttime, the Jedis and Homsar were about to enter the Nubian.

"Homestar can be dangerous. Why can't you sense it? Are you getting old or something?" asked Strong Bad.

"His fate is uncortain, not dangeresque, I mean, dangerous. The Council will decide on Homestar's future," said Coach Z as Strong Bad walked into the ship. Then Coach Z goes to Homestar.

"Hey Coach, I don't want to be a pwoblem!" said Homestar.

"You won't be. I'm not orllowed to troin you, but wortch me and be mindful. Focus detormines on yor reality. Stay close with me and be safe," explained Coach Z.

"Hey Coach, Pom-Pom said something about midi-chlowians. What awe they?"

"Some life form in yor cells that cormmunicates with the Force," replied Coach Z.

"What does that mean?" asked Homestar.

"We're, um, well, without midi-chlorians, life forms do not exist, and there's no Force. And some other stuff like that, and they're like, morgic, thingies, that can do a lot of good stuff, and does life storff. I'll tell you later," explained Coach Z.

"That was a tewwible explanation," said Homestar.

Then Queen Marzipala, her handmaidens, Captain Mouth, and Senator Homeschool walked up to Coach Z.

"Yor highness, it's a pleesure to protect you again," said Coach Z.

"I welcome your help. Senator Homeschool fears the Federation wants to destroy me," said Queen Marzipala.

"That's whot I said the forst time!" said Coach Z.

Then Queen Marzipala, her handmaidens, Coach Z, and Captain Mouth went into the ship. Reynold followed with Homestar and Homsar.

"WE'RE GOING HOOOOOME! At last! Not that I like it there," said Reynold as he went into the ship.

"Come on Homsaw," said Homestar as he went into the ship.

"Take my time! 1, w, 5, and I can count to toot!" said Homsar as he went into the ship.


	9. Chapter 9 Return to Naboo

Man, is reviewing for the Homestar Runner section dead, or something? During the week, almost no story got a single review! Not even the ones you'd prefer to review over this (like _Homestar Running Back, Serious Problems,_ etc...). I expect more reviews, because they motivate me to write more, and I don't know if I want to write Episode II or III with the lack of reviews. But I guess I should be satisfied with a 17. (Looks at the number of reviews for _Serious Problems _with great jealousy)**

* * *

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**Chapter 9 – Return to Naboo/I think this is a Longer Chapter**

In the throne room in the palace in Theed in Naboo, a hologram of Darth Sidious was talking to Blue Laser and his minion.

"The Queen is on her way to you. She's of no use. Destroy her," ordered Darth Sidious.

"OKAY!" shouted Blue Laser.

"Now that I see you have complete control over Naboo, I'll send my apprentice, Lord Stick, over to you," said Darth Sidious as his hologram disappeared.

"A Sith lord here with us, sir?" asked the Blue Laser Minion.

In the cockpit of the Nubian just close to Naboo, Senor was showing Homestar some controls of the ship.

"What's that?" asked Homestar.

"The forward stabilizer," said Senor.

"They control the pitch?" asked Homestar.

"Yep! You catch on pretty quick," observed Senor.

"And this?" asked Homestar as he pressed a button, making Limozeen play "Nite Mamas" from the radio at maximum volume.

"NITE MAMAS! ALWAYS SAVE A DANCE FOR ALWAYS SAVE A DANCE FOR A CRAZY MAMMA JAMMA LIKE ME…"

Senor immediately turned the radio off.

In the Queens Chamber, after listening to "Nite Mamas" for a few seconds, Coach Z and Strong Bad commenced talking to Queen Marzipala.

"The moment they FIND you, they'll ARREST you and FORCE you to sign a treaty," said Captain Mouth.

"I know, so what are you going to do?" asked Coach Z.

"I'm taking back my planet," replied Queen Marzipala.

"How? There are like, TWELVE of us, no army," said Captain Mouth.

"I can't fight a war for you. I'm here to protect you," said Coach Z.

"Reynold," called out Queen Marzipala to the startled Reynold.

"Me, your highness?" asked Reynold.

"Yes, I need your help," said Queen Marzipala.

"Whoa! That's a new record! The Queen asking Reynold for help!" exclaimed Strong Bad.

* * *

Soon, the Nubian approached the blockade surrounding Naboo, which is now made up of one battleship, the one that controlled the droids.

"Look, there's only one!" said Senor.

"Oh, I guess there's going to be no war, and the invasion is over, so we can just…" began Strong Bad.

"Oh wait, that's the Droid Control Ship, very important, can start a war," said Senor.

"Oh crap. Let's just go into Naboo and save the day. We don't have a lot of time."

* * *

Soon, the Nubian landed in a swampy forest in Naboo close to the Cheat Commandos Underwater Headquarters Playset. As Reynold went to the Cheat Commandos Underwater Headquarters Playset, Strong Bad and Coach Z had a discussion.

"Reynold's on his way to the underwater playset," said Strong Bad.

"That's good," replied Coach Z.

"Do you think the Queen's idea will work?" asked Strong Bad.

"Well, the Chort Commandos are pretty good, and we can't use our powers to help the Queen," replied Coach Z.

"Anyway, sorry for my doubting Homestar will be a Jedi. Thanks for saying I'm a good Jedi," said Strong Bad.

"No prablem! You'll be a sooccessul Jedi Knight one day!" said Coach Z.

* * *

After Reynold somehow went into the Cheat Commandos Underwater Headquarters Playset (remember, he can't swim), he left the water while being chased by an alligator.

"_And don't come back!"_ growled the alligator as it went back in the water.

"So, where's the army?" asked Coach Z.

"Uh, the headquarters playset's empty," replied Reynold.

"Oh drat," said Strong Bad.

"But I know this safe place where the Cheat Commandos go in case of emergency. Let's go there," said Reynold.

* * *

So Reynold led the party to the safe place.

"So, here is Queen Marzipala of Naboo," announced Gunhaver as he showed the party to the Cheat Commandos.

"Ha, ha, ha! They're not Cheats!" teased Fightgar.

"So, Reenolds, you come back and breeng strangers. Who are zee others?" asked Flashfight.

"I'm Queen Marzipala of Naboo. I come before you in peace," explained Queen Marzipala.

"Oh, all of yous, I hate you all. You should diee, I know it," replied Flashfight.

"We wish to form an alliance," said Queen Marzipala.

Suddenly, Marzipan stepped forward.

"Your honor," said Marzipan.

"Who are you?" asked Flashfight.

"Who do you think I am?" asked Marzipan.

"A handmaeeden," said Flashfight.

"I am Queen Marzipala," admitted Marzipan, surprising all others besides some handmaidens (especially the decoy) and the Jedis, "This is a decoy, 1936 Marzipan. It's for my protection, and she's my bodyguard. Sorry for the confusion, but I needed protection, really! Although we don't really agree, your Honor, our two great societies have always lived in peace. The Trade Federation destroyed what we worked hard to build. If we don't act quickly, all will be lost. I ask you to help us, no… I beg to you to help us," explained Marzipan as she dropped to her "knees".

"We are your humble servants," continued Marzipan, "Our fate is in your hands."

Slowly, Captain Mouth, his troops, the handmaidens, Homestar, the two Jedis, and Reynold dropped to their knees in front of Flashfight, which made him laugh.

"You zeenk you're no better than us? I like zees. Maybee wee should bee friends," replied Flashfight.

This made all in the safe place cheer.

* * *

In the throne room of the Naboo Palace, Blue Laser, his minion, and Darth Stick were in front of the hologram of Darth Sidious. Blue Laser was doing the talking.

"WE'VE SENT OUT PATROLS AND FOUND THEIR STUPID STARSHIP IN THE SWAMP! IT WON'T BE LONG MY LORD!" screeched Blue Laser.

"This was an unexpected move from her. It's too aggressive. Lord Stick, be mindful," said Darth Sidious as Darth Stick nodded, "Make them make the first move."

* * *

Firebert was on a stone head, looking through electrobinoculars. Then he saw something and squeaked to Homestar who ran to Marzipan, the Jedis, and the Cheat Commandos.

"They'we hewe!" shouted Homestar.

Meanwhile, Flashfight was having a talk with Reynold.

"You're grand to breeng Naboo together," complimented Flashfight.

"Oh, no, no, no," said Reynold happily.

"So, zat's why you're going to bee general," said Flashfight.

"GENERAL?" asked Reynold in bewilderment before fainting.

Meanwhile, four speeders arrived with Captain Mouth and his larger troop of soldiers.

"What's the situation?" asked Marzipan.

"Almost everyone's in camps. A few guards and police have FORMED an underground movement. I BROUGHT as many soldiers as I could. The Federation's army is so much LARGER than we THOUGHT, and much STRONGER," explained Captain Mouth before the irritated Strong Bad continued.

"Can you please talk NORMALLY?" asked Strong Bad with anger.

"Hey, you made me," retorted Captain Mouth.

"Hey! Ixnay on the Teen Girl Squad… nay," replied Strong Bad.

"Okay. Your HI… highness, I don't think we can win this war," said Captain Mouth.

"The battle is a diversion. The Cheat Commandos must draw the Droid Army away from the cities," said Marzipan as Homsar spit out a hologram projector from his mouth, which showed the Naboo palace.

"Ew! It came from his mouth!" exclaimed Strong Bad.

"It's better than coming from yours," retorted Marzipan.

"I hate her," muttered Strong Bad under his breath.

"We can enter the city using the secret passages on the waterfall side. Once we get to the main entrance, Captain Mouth will create a diversion so we can enter the palace and capture the Viceroy. Without the Viceroy, they'll be lost and confused," explained Marzipan, "What do you think, master Jedi?" asked Marzipan.

"The Vorceroy will be well gorded," commented Coach Z.

"The difficulty is getting in the throne room. Once we do that, we WO… won't have a problem," said Captain Mouth.

"There's a porsibility that many Chorts will get killed," said Coach Z.

"Wee're readee to do our part," said Flashfight.

"We have a plan to immobilize the droid army. We'll send what pilots we have to knock out the Droid Control Ship orbiting the planet. If we can get past their shields, we can sever communication and the droids will shut down," explained Marzipan.

"Nice plan, but the forters' worpons may not be enough to penetrate the shorlds on the control ship," said Coach Z.

"There's an even bigger danger. If the Viceroy escapes, then all will be for nothing as he'll come back with another army of those weirdo droids," warned Strong Bad.

"That's why we must capture the Viceroy. Everything depends on it, not that Strong Bad cares," said Marzipan.

"What? Why?" asked Strong Bad.

"Oh nothing," replied Marzipan as innocently as possible.

* * *

In the throne room of the palace, a hologram of Darth Sidious was talking to Blue Laser, his minion, and Darth Stick.

"She's foolish, but today, she's even more foolish," said Darth Sidious.

"WE'RE SENDING ALL TROOPS TO MEET HER TROOP BY THE SWAMPY AREA! IT APPEARS TO BE MADE OF THE CHEAT COMMANDOS! WE'LL CRUSH THEM!" shouted Blue Laser.

"Proceed, wipe them out. All of them," ordered Darth Sidious.

* * *

Soon, action figure storage trucks drove out of the swamp and to the field. Soon, all Cheat Commandos got out, which included other Cheat Commandos in the B rank, the C rank, the D rank, and so on, so there were a lot of the same Cheat Commandos, but no recognition of that kind was made. Reynold and Gunhaver (from the A rank) were in front, but behind the Fireberts with Foxface's bulletproof and blaster-proof handbags.

Soon, the troop transports with the droids arrived a mile away from the Cheat Commandos.

"Steady, steady," ordered Reynold, who was feeling nervous himself.

"Maybe I ought to motivate them," said Gunhaver as he faced the Cheat Commandos, "I see in your eyes, the fear that will take the heart of me!"

"Do something original, not from Lord of the Rings!" interrupted Reynold.

"Oh all right. All right Cheat Commandos, are you ready to win for Naboo?"

"Sir, yes, sir!" replied the Cheat Commandos.

"Are you going to let Blue Laser simply crush us?" asked Gunhaver.

"Sir, no, sir!" replied the Cheat Commandos.

"Does Foxface know you think she's ugly?" asked Gunhaver.

"Sir, ye… no… what?" mumbled the Cheat Commandos.

"It's a trick question, because either way, it shows you think…" began Gunhaver when Reinforcements, crying, interrupted, "Yes, she dors! I think she's orgly!"

Then Foxface arrived and slapped Reinforcements in the face. Then she left.

"Nice motivating," said Reynold sarcastically.

"Thanks, Reynold! Energize the shields," ordered Gunhaver.

Suddenly, the Crackotages activated a machine that made a large deflector shield around them.

* * *

In the Central Plaza of Theed, the Jedis, Homestar, Marzipan, her troops, Homsar, and 1936 Marzipan walked quietly to avoid being seen by the battle droids. Then Marzipan went by an entrance and signaled Captain Mouth by another entrance with a red light, who responded with a purple light. Then Coach Z began talking to Homestar.

"Once we get inside, find a place to horde and stay there," ordered Coach Z.

"So what if it has no stuff to take?" asked Homestar.

"Just stay there," said Coach Z.

Suddenly, a hovercraft with a laser and two soldiers arrived and shot a laser at a ship with four droids guarding it, blowing it up and destroying the four droids. Then the droids opened fire on Captain Mouth and his troops while Marzipan, her troops, the Jedis, Homestar, and Homsar went to the main hangar unscathed.

In the main hangar, battle droids began firing at Marzipan's party as the troops shot the battle droids with blasters. Coach Z and Strong Bad helped by using their lightsabers to deflect the battle droids' shots. Homestar ran to a Naboo Starfighter to hide.

In the palace throne room, Blue Laser and his minion were watching the battle outside.

"I THOUGHT THE BATTLE WAS GOING TO BE FAR, FAR AWAY! NOT HERE! IT'S TOO CLOSE!" screeched Blue Laser.

"What's going on, sir?" asked the minion.

"WELL, THAT'S OBVIOUS, MR. TOO-OBLIVIOUS!" screeched Blue Laser.

* * *

In the fields, the droid troop transports began firing lasers at the Cheat Commandos, but their shield deflected the shots. Finally, they opened up to reveal racks of battle droids. The Blue Laser minions in the droid control ship in space activated the battle droids, who went into their battle positions, which meant standing up and drawing their blasters.

"As the Gungans say, ouch time," said Gunhaver.

"Don't make me feel worse," said Reynold.

Then the thousands of battle droids walked through the deflector shield and began opening fire on the Cheat Commandos. While the Gunhavers, Fightgars, Reinforcements, and Ripbergers fought with guns, shurikens, and Justice Rocket Backpack Rocket Rocket Rockets to attack the droids, the other flung blue energy balls called boomers at the droids to short them out. Reynold attempted to fling a blue energy ball, but he spun it in a wide circle, endangering the Cheat Commandos around him. He still destroyed a battle droid.

* * *

In the main hangar, the battle droids were destroyed.

"Get to your ships!" Marzipan ordered the pilots.

So the pilots and their Homsar units went to their Starfighters. Homsar (the blue one) went into Homestar's Starfighter.

"DaAaAaAa! And also with you!" shouted Homsar.

Then the Starfighters flew away to the sky. One Starfighter was shot by the tank firing at them, causing it to fall, crash, and explode on the ground. Then Marzipan's party began to head towards the exit.

"Hey guys! Take me! Take me! I won't be that destwuctive, weally," said Homestar.

"Homestar, stay there," ordered Coach Z.

"Who awe you to mess with me and owdew me awound?" asked Homestar.

"Coach Z," replied Coach Z.

"Yeah, you'we pwobably wight," said Homestar.

Marzipan's party headed toward the exit door. When the door opened, dramatic background music began playing…

"Whoa, dramatic background music," observed Strong Bad and Homestar (with his speech impediments).

"Yes, thank you for noticing," said Homer Starrun.

… as the door opened and the dramatic background music played, they all saw Darth Stick waiting for them. While Captain Mouth, Marzipan, and their troops backed away, Coach Z and Strong Bad stepped forward.

"We'll horndle this," said Coach Z.

"We'll take the long way," said Marzipan.

"Aww…" moaned Captain Mouth in complaint as the troops went the other way.

The two Jedis and Darth Stick took off their capes. Coach Z ignited his green lightsaber and Strong Bad ignited his blue lightsaber. Darth Stick ignited both ends of his double-edged red lightsaber. And this begins one of the greatest, if not, greatestlightsaber battle ever in the Star Wars saga (in my opinion).

TO BE CONTINUED…


	10. Chapter 10 The Battle Rages

Well Coach Z fans, don't hate me. This is just like Will-Write-For-Pocky's parody for Star Wars Episode 4 when Coach Z plays as Obi-Wan Kenobi.**

* * *

**

**Chapter 10 – The Battle Rages**

As Coach Z and Strong Bad began their battle against Darth Stick, three droidekas came and began shooting at Marzipan and her party. Marzipan and her party tried shooting at the droidekas, but their shields deflected the shots as they kept shooting.

"Hey Homsaw, let's help them out," said Homestar.

"DaAaAaAaA! I can make it on ourselves!" shouted Homsar.

"Which button's the blastew? This?" asked Homestar as he pressed a button, making the Starfighter start to levitate and move, "This?" Homestar pressed another, closing the window to protect Homestar from space, where he will go, "This?" asked he pressed a button attached to a handle, which shot lasers at one droideka, destroying it.

"Yay! This is like a video game!" exclaimed Homestar as he shot at the last droidekas, giving Marzipan and her party a chance to go to Blue Laser. Meanwhile, Homestar's Starfighter flew away to space in autopilot.

* * *

In the lightsaber battle, Strong Bad flipped over Darth Stick and tried to attack him from behind while Darth Stick battled Coach Z, but Darth Stick quickly deflected Strong Bad's lightsaber blow while blocking Coach Z's.

* * *

In space, the fleet of Naboo Starfighters approached the Droid Control Federation Ship. Meanwhile, many Federation ships flew towards the Starfighters and began attacking with lasers.

"Enemy fighters right ahead!" said Senor, who was the Bravo Leader.

* * *

In the battle between the Cheat Commandos and the droids, Reynold's foot got stuck in the wiring of a destroyed battle droid. As Reynold struggled to get the battle droid off his foot, he accidentally triggered the droid's blaster, shooting lasers at several droids, destroying them.

"Whoa! Your clumsiness is actually useful for once! That sucks!" remarked Gunhaver.

Meanwhile, droidekas arrived and began shooting at the Cheat Commandos, who fired back with their projectiles that were either deflected or made their mark by some miracle, or that it was a bullet.

* * *

In space, Homestar's ship finally arrived at the dogfight.

"Hey Homsaw, I think that's whewe the freakin' autopilot is taking us!" said Homestar.

The Starfighter flew toward the Droid Control Federation Ship.

* * *

Back to the lightsaber battle, the Jedis and Sith continued to battle. Darth Stick cart wheeled away from the Jedi, used the Force on an object and threw it to a panel on the wall to open the door to the power generator pit, and went inside with the Jedi following, where Coach Z will meet his doom (hint, hint, wink, wink). Then the three arrived at a platform with some controls. Darth Stick jumped to a bridge with Strong Bad and Coach Z following by jumping to the bridge. They continued the sword fight with Darth Stick between the two Jedi.

* * *

In a hallway of the palace, Marzipan and her party were engaged in a blaster fight with the droids. Soon, they were able to destroy most of the droids. Then Marzipan blasted a hole in one of the windows.

"This way!" ordered Marzipan as she went through the hole in the window.

So the rest of the party went through the hole to be on the ledge outside the window. Then on Marzipan's order, they used hookshot-type blasters (not the Hookshot from the Zelda games, if that's what you're thinking) on a higher ledge by a window and went up. Then they blasted through that window and went into that hallway.

"What now?" asked Captain Mouth.

"Pray that the price of fixing the windows won't be much," replied Marzipan, looking at the hole in the window.

* * *

In the battle in the Naboo grass plains, a droid destroyed the shield generator, destroying the shield.

"Aw man! There goes our shield, which cost a lot of money, although it's cheap as free! Come on Cheat Commandos, let's retreat and run away like stupid cowards!" ordered Gunhaver, and all Cheat Commandos did so.

Reynold hid under the wheel of a wagon full of energy balls to avoid the battle raging with enemy tanks/troop transports included.

"This is nuts!" exclaimed Reynold.

Suddenly, the wagon began to move away, giving away Reynold's cover. So he jumped and grabbed onto the handle of the back gate, where he saw the huge energy balls.

"Oops! The big boomers!" exclaimed Reynold when the back gate opened, making Reynold fall to the ground and release the boomers, "AAA!" screamed Reynold, but ran away immediately to avoid the big boomers.

Some of the boomers destroyed some droidekas and a few troop transports, another advantage of having Reynold in the battle.

* * *

In space, Homestar was in the middle of the battle at the Droid Control Federation Ship.

"Man Homsaw, this is, uh… is it tense?" asked Homestar.

"DaAaaaa! Too dangerous to sixty ten!" shouted Homsar as a ship nearby exploded.

Homestar saw some enemy ships approaching, "Hey Homsaw, can you GET US OUT OF HIS AUTOPILOT?"

"I can do it fifteen!" replied Homsar as he spun around in place.

Meanwhile, Homestar got control over the Starfighter.

"Yay! I can control this piece of cwap!" cheered Homestar.

"Go back!" shouted Homsar.

"No way! Coach Z would want me to, plus, I'm impowtant to this battle, for some reason that might spoil things," explained Homestar, and that's true.

Soon, enemy ships were behind Homestar.

"Let's twy spinning fow no appawent weason!" said Homestar, and before Homsar could reply, Homestar spun the ship around and around, doing a barrel roll (Star Fox reference).

"AAAAA! I can't take this anymore!" shouted Homsar.

"I know! Uh, let's do something!" replied Homestar.

As for the other Starfighters, they couldn't do any damage to the DCFS (Droid Control Federation Ship, it's tedious to spell the whole name out).

"The shield's too strong! We'll never get through it!" cried out Senor.

As for Homestar, another enemy ship shot at Homestar's ship, hitting it.

"Uh, we'we hit," said Homestar.

Homestar tried to regain control over his ship as it accidentally and luckily entered the space station hangar and landed on the floor without crashing into anything by miracle.

"Uh, I don't think I can get us out of hewe. Evewything's ovewheated!" exclaimed Homestar.

Unfortunately, droids approached the ship.

"Um, give me time to think, go to a diffewent scene!" shouted Homestar.

"All right, we'll take a look at Coach Z, Strong Bad, and Darth Stick," said Homer Starrun.

* * *

In the Power Generator Pit, the sword fight continued with creepy choir music playing in the background.

"Now _that_ song is creepy!" remarked Strong Bad.

Darth Stick used that time to kick Strong Bad off the bridge and onto a lower bridge. Coach Z knocked Darth Stick to a not as low bridge (compared to Strong Bad's position) and jumped to where Darth Stick was to continue the battle. Strong Bad, who was hanging onto the bridge, got up, got his lightsaber, and jumped to the bridge where Coach Z and Darth Stick were battling.

Coach Z and Darth Stick entered a hallway with electron rays that just went off to clear the way. Strong Bad ran to the other two to catch up with them. Soon, the electron rays went on again. Darth Stick was close to the next room, Coach Z was one wall away, and Strong Bad wasn't even surrounded by the electron rays, yet. Using this time, Coach Z meditated for the last time. All turned off their lightsabers.

* * *

In the hallway where Marzipan and the party were, droidekas and other droids surrounded the party.

"Put down your weapons, they win this round," ordered Marzipan as they all set down their weapons.

"Aw, I really wanted to win!" complained Captain Mouth.

* * *

In the Naboo grass plains, Reynold accidentally landed on one of the droid tanks' gun. Gunhaver arrived driving in an army car.

"Hey Reynold, use a boomer!" ordered Gunhaver.

"I don't have one! The Cheat Commandos don't trust me with one!" replied Reynold, still holding on.

"Then use this!" shouted Gunhaver as he threw a boomer to Reynold.

Reynold tried to catch it, but then he accidentally let go of it, which landed on a droid who exited the troop transport. Reynold's weight on the gun made the tank lose balance a little bit.

"Reynold, jump into the car!" ordered Gunhaver.

"Okay!" replied Reynold as he jumped into Gunhaver, making both of them fall out of the car and tumble onto the field.

"Reynold, look what you've done! You ripped off my car's seatbelt!" chastised Gunhaver.

"Jeez, blame me for everything!" retorted Reynold.

"That's because they're all your fault!" argued Gunhaver as droids arrived.

* * *

In the Power Generator Electric Beam hallway, the electron rays opened up again as Coach Z and Darth Stick entered the room with the melting pit and resumed fighting. Strong Bad tried to catch up, but he got caught one wall short. So he had to watch Coach Z and Darth Stick fight.

As they fought, Darth Stick kicked Coach Z and used his lightsaber to stab Coach Z's medallion, doing nothing.

"That's lightsorber prorf!" said Coach Z before Darth Stick stabbed Coach Z in the stomach, making him fall in a heap.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Now I have to fight by myself, and I can't get Coach Z to give me the 10 he owes me!" shouted Strong Bad (he's paid in order to act this out).

Meanwhile, Darth Stick waited for Strong Bad to be released from the electron ray prison to finish off the two Jedi.


	11. Chapter 11 This Story Ends on Chapter 1...

Well readers who read my story, this is it, the last chapter. But don't think it is over yet. I'm going to make Episode II: Attack of the Clones by next week. I expect reviews there, as well as for this movie. Until then, read and review.**

* * *

**

**Chapter 11 – This Story Ends on Chapter 11, so Expect Episode II Soon!**

In the Naboo grass plains, the Cheat Commandos lost, and the droids were maybe taking them to a prison so they can be POWs. Reynold and Gunhaver finished arguing.

"Okay Reynold, make sure you don't give up for the spirit of the Cheat Commandos!" ordered Gunhaver.

Then battle droids came with their blasters and surrounded the two Cheats.

"Hands up," ordered a battle droid.

"I surrender!" shouted Reynolds with his hands up, so Gunhaver reluctantly held his hands up as well.

"What did we ever do to you?" Gunhaver asked Reynolds.

"Besides not taking me with you on missions, ostracizing me, and banishing me?" asked Reynold.

* * *

Marzipan and her party were taken to the palace throne room where Blue Laser, his minion, and the droids were waiting for Marzipan, or Queen Marzipala (appropriate, I guess).

"YOUR LITTLE INSURRECTION, OR REBELLION, HAS ENDED, YOUR HIGHNESS!" screeched Blue Laser, "TIME FOR YOU TO SIGN THE TREATY… AND END THIS POINTLESS DEBATE IN THE SENATE!"

Suddenly, 1936 Marzipan dressed up like Queen Marzipala with her troops ran to the throne room with blasters raised.

"Stop right there, Viceroy!" shouted 1936 Marzipan as she arrived in the throne room.

"GET HER!" ordered Blue Laser, pointing to 1936 Marzipan, "THE OTHER ONE IS A DECOY!"

"No, I'm Queen Marzipala," said Marzipan.

"OKAY, GET THIS ONE!" ordered Blue Laser as he pointed to Marzipan.

"No, I'm Queen Marzipala," said 1936 Marzipan.

"GET THAT ONE!" ordered Blue Laser as he pointed to 1936 Marzipan.

"I'm Queen Marzipala," argued Marzipan.

"I'm Queen Marzipala," argued 1936 Marzipan.

"I'm Queen Marzipala," argued Marzipan.

"I'm Queen Marzipala," argued 1936 Marzipan.

"I'm Queen Marzipala," argued Marzipan.

"I'm Queen Marzipala," argued 1936 Marzipan.

"I'm Queen Marzipala," argued Marzipan.

"I'm Queen Marzipala," argued 1936 Marzipan.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" screamed Blue Laser.

Suddenly, Marzipan ran to her throne, pressed a button on the throne activated by her invisible hand, and revealed blasters under the panel. Marzipan got out three, tossed one to Captain Mouth, and the other to an officer. Then the three blasted the last of the droids.

"Shut the doors!" ordered Marzipan.

Then officers ran to the door control panels and closed the doors. Other officers got blasters from Captain Mouth and Marzipan from the throne. Blue Laser and his minion became confused and afraid. Then Marzipan, blaster raised, went to Blue Laser.

"Now it's time to discuss a new treaty," said Marzipan.

"OH DRAT! I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN YOU WERE THE QUEEN!" screeched Blue Laser.

* * *

In the melting pit room, the electron rays opened up, freeing Strong Bad, who ignited his lightsaber and began fighting against Darth Stick with his double-edged lightsaber. Strong Bad fought furiously with rage against Darth Stick (he is now using the Dark Side of the Force to help him), dodging at quick speeds, attacking at quick speeds. Soon, his anger and lightsaber destroyed one end of Darth Stick's lightsaber, leaving him with a regular red lightsaber. Then they began attacking at each other with their lightsabers. Soon, Strong Bad became weary of the battling and rage, and Darth Stick used the Force to push Strong Bad away into the pit.

"Oh crap," remarked Strong Bad.

Strong Bad managed to hold onto a circular lamp on the side of the pit to prevent falling to a certain doom. He left his lightsaber on the edge of the pit when he was falling. Darth Stick walked up to the edge of the pit and kicked Strong Bad's lightsaber off and down the pit into a bottomless pit.

"Oh double crap," remarked Strong Bad.

* * *

In the federation hangar, Homestar was still surrounded by the droids. His ship was still overheated. But as the droids walked closer to the Starfighter, all the lights in the ship turned to green as it went back to normal.

"Hey guys! Shields up!" said Homestar as he turned on the deflector shields just as the droids shot their blasters at the ship, deflecting the shots.

"We're on the orange side!" cried out Homsar.

"Hey guys! Let's play a little game!" said Homestar as he pressed a button to shoot lasers at droids, destroying them, "Aw, come back!"

Suddenly, Homestar shot two blue plasma torpedoes that went past the droids.

"Hey guys! You still lived!" said Homestar.

But the plasma torpedoes destroyed the main reactor, starting a large explosion and the destruction of the ship.

"Uh, I got to go back home. BYE!" said Homestar as he flew away, running over a few droids.

Droids were running away from a flaming hallway, but the fire engulfed them. Homestar was flying away at a faster speed.

"Now this is Podwacing, wight?" asked Homestar.

"You mean the blast!" said Homsar.

In the bridge of the battleship, two Blue Laser minions were talking to each other.

"We're losing power. There's a problem with the main reactor," said the minion, not adding "sir", for he's talking to a minion at the same social level.

"What?" asked the other minion.

But then the bridge blew up, incinerating the two minions. Ouch! From his Starfighter, Senor noticed the DCFS was starting to explode from the inside out.

"Who did that?" asked Senor.

"Well, I DIDN'T DO THAT!" said Bravo Two, Larry from Limozeen.

"I did it," replied Gary from Limozeen.

"NO YOU DIDN'T! YOU'RE STILL IN NABOOOOO!" replied Larry.

Gary was the one who had his ship blasted by the tank.

"Hey look! That's one of ours!" exclaimed Cheerleader (Bravo Three) as she pointed to Homestar's Starfighter flying away from the DCFS.

Suddenly, the core of the DCFS blew up in a big fiery ball as a part of the DCFS was ripped from the ship.

"W00T!" cheered all star pilots as they flew back to Naboo.

* * *

In the Naboo grass plain, the droids were taking the Cheat Commandos to their prison when all the droids shut down.

"What happened?" asked Reynold as he looked at a droid who lost its head.

"Hey, they all shut down, look!" said Gunhaver as he pushed down a droid.

"How do you think that happened?" asked Reynold.

"Either the Droid Control Federation Ship exploded, or we just used a hidden power to DEFEAT THE BATTLE DROIDS! GYAH! We WON!" shouted Gunhaver as the remaining Cheat Commandos cheered.

Meanwhile, a chorus of men who usually sang in the Cheat Commandos commercials and shows began singing, "Cheat Commandos, they just won a big battle! Buy all our playsets and toys!"

* * *

In the melting pit room, Strong Bad was hanging onto the lamp while Darth Stick was using his lightsaber to shoot sparks at Strong Bad by striking the lightsaber on the edge of the pit. Meanwhile, Strong Bad concentrated on Coach Z's lightsaber, which began to move slightly. While Darth Stick was just looking at the helpless Strong Bad, suddenly, Strong Bad jumped from the melting pit, used the Force to grab Coach Z's lightsaber, and using the green lightsaber, sliced the surprised Darth Stick in half. The two halves fell down the melting pit, and Darth Stick died.

Then Strong Bad ran to Coach Z. In order to do this scene, Strong Bad had to look at his drawing of Lil'lest Brudder (a legless, burnt, skinny dog with an eyepatch), and remember he was offered more money than anyone else in the making of this story so he can do this. Coach Z, who was dying, managed to talk to Strong Bad for the last time.

"It's… It's too lorte," said Coach Z.

"No!" replied Strong Bad, still affected by the drawing.

"Strong Bad, promise… promise me you will troin Homestar," said Coach Z.

"What? Why?" asked Strong Bad.

"He's the chorsen one… he will bring balance… train him!" pleaded Coach Z.

"All right," replied Strong Bad.

Then Coach Z died.

* * *

A large, grand, royal cruiser of the Supreme Chancellor landed in the courtyard. Captain Mouth, his troops, Marzipan/Queen Marzipala, her handmaidens, Strong Bad, and Homestar surrounded Blue Laser and his minion.

"Now Viceroy, you are going to have to explain all this to the Senate," said Marzipan.

"I think you can KISS your Trade Federation good-bye," said Captain Mouth.

The main ramp of the cruiser was lowered as Supreme Chancellor Homeschool Winner and Republic guards stepped out with Captain Mouth (guarding Blue Laser and his minion), Marzipan, and Strong Bad greeting the new Chancellor.

"Nice work, Strong Bad. You will be promoted," said Chancellor Homeschool, "And you, young Runner, will start your training as Jedi, I think."

Then Pom-Pom and several other Jedi Masters stepped out of the ship.

"Congratulations on your election, Chancellor. It's so good to see you again," said Queen Marzipala/Marzipan.

"It is you who should be congratulated. Your boldness saved our people. Together, we will bring peace and prosperity to the Republic, maybe," said Chancellor Homeschool.

* * *

In a room in the Theed palace in the evening, Pom-Pom was talking to Strong Bad, who was kneeling.

"_Confer on you, the level of Jedi Knight the Council does. But agree on taking Homestar as your Padawan learner, I do not,"_ bubbled Pom-Pom.

"Coach Z believed in him, and I believed in Coach Z, probably," said Strong Bad.

"_The Chosen One, Homestar may be; nevertheless, grave danger I fear in his training_," bubbled Pom-Pom.

"Oh come on! I gave the dying Coach Z my word! Without the Council's approval, I'll still train him!" argued Strong Bad.

"_Coach Z's defiance I sense in you. Need that, you do not_," bubbled Pom-Pom as he thought and bounced around for some seconds before bubbling again, "_Agree, the council does. Your apprentice, young Runner will be_."

* * *

In the Funeral Temple Steps of Naboo, Coach Z was being cremated while the Jedi, Homestar, the Queen, Mr. Bland (no more allergies), the handmaidens, Naboo troopers, Supreme Chancellor Homeschool Winner, Reynold, Flashfight, and other Cheat Commandos watched Coach Z's cremation.

"So, what's going to happen to me now?" asked Homestar.

"You're going to be a Jedi, and I get the misfortune to train you. How does that sound?" asked Strong Bad.

"Uh, okay," replied Homestar.

Meanwhile, Strong Mad was talking to Pom-Pom with great difficulty.

"Uh…………………………………" said Strong Mad.

"Psst, say your lines correctly," whispered Homer Starrun.

"YOUR LINES CORRECTLY!" shouted Strong Mad, making Homer Starrun groan, so Strong Mad said, "The warrior's a Sith," to all amazement.

"_Always two there are,_" bubbled Pom-Pom while getting over the amazement that Strong Mad said his lines perfectly, "_No more… no less. A master and an apprentice._"

"WHO DIED?" asked Strong Mad, which was good enough.

* * *

The next day in Theed Central Plaza, there was a grand parade of Cheat Commandos. The crowds were cheering and celebrating and there was also music playing in the background, or that's just the background music. At the end of the road where the parade took place, Queen Marzipala (the real one), Supreme Chancellor Homeschool, Homestar, Strong Bad, Mr. Bland, the Queen's handmaidens (including 1936 Marzipan), Homsar, and several Jedi Masters were waiting for Flashfight. Flashfight got out of his army car followed by Gunhaver, Silent Rip, Fightgar, Crackotage, and Reynold (who stumbled out of the car). Then they walked up the steps and the Queen gave Flashfight a shining globe.

"PEECE!" shouted Flashfight as he held up the globe to unite the Cheat Commandos and Nubians (the people of Naboo, not the ship).

**THE END**


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